1
00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:15,347
[BEACH BOYS' "BE TRUE
TO YOUR SCHOOL" PLAYING]

2
00:00:15,447 --> 00:00:18,150
<i>♪ When some loud braggart
Tries to put me down ♪</i>

3
00:00:18,250 --> 00:00:20,971
<i>♪ And says his school
Is great ♪</i>

4
00:00:21,071 --> 00:00:22,973
<i>♪ I tell him right away ♪</i>

5
00:00:23,073 --> 00:00:25,024
<i>♪ "Now, what's
The matter, buddy? ♪</i>

6
00:00:25,124 --> 00:00:26,993
<i>♪ "Ain't you heard
Of my school? ♪</i>

7
00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:30,446
<i>♪ It's number one
In the state" ♪</i>

8
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:36,035
<i>♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪</i>

9
00:00:36,135 --> 00:00:39,689
<i>♪ So be true
To your school now ♪</i>

10
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:43,008
<i>♪ Just like you would
To your girl, all right ♪</i>

11
00:00:43,108 --> 00:00:45,961
<i>♪ Be true to your school now ♪</i>

12
00:00:46,061 --> 00:00:49,215
<i>♪ And let your colors fly ♪</i>

13
00:00:49,315 --> 00:00:52,502
<i>♪ Be true to your school ♪</i>

14
00:00:52,602 --> 00:00:56,172
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
<i>♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪</i>

15
00:00:56,272 --> 00:00:57,389
<i>♪ I've got
A letterman's sweater ♪</i>

16
00:00:57,489 --> 00:00:58,858
<i>♪ With a letter in front ♪</i>

17
00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:00,627
<i>♪ I got for football
And track ♪</i>

18
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:01,861
<i>♪ I'm proud to wear it now ♪</i>

19
00:01:01,961 --> 00:01:04,347
<i>♪ When I cruise around ♪</i>

20
00:01:04,447 --> 00:01:05,531
<i>♪ The other parts of the town ♪</i>

21
00:01:05,631 --> 00:01:07,033
<i>♪ I got a decal in back ♪</i>

22
00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:10,520
<i>♪ So be true
To your school now ♪</i>

23
00:01:10,620 --> 00:01:14,641
<i>♪ Just like you would
To your girl, all right ♪</i>

24
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,243
<i>♪ Be true to your school now ♪</i>

25
00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:20,613
<i>♪ And let your colors fly ♪</i>

26
00:01:20,713 --> 00:01:24,249
<i>♪ And be true to your school ♪</i>

27
00:01:24,349 --> 00:01:26,486
<i>♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪</i>

28
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:30,056
<i>♪ On Friday we'll be jacked up
For the football game ♪</i>

29
00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:32,125
<i>♪ And I'll be ready to fight ♪</i>

30
00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:33,759
<i>♪ We're gonna smash 'em now ♪</i>

31
00:01:33,859 --> 00:01:36,596
<i>♪ My girl will be puttin' on
Her pom-poms now ♪</i>

32
00:01:36,696 --> 00:01:38,931
<i>♪ And she'll
Be yellin' tonight ♪</i>

33
00:01:39,031 --> 00:01:42,335
<i>♪ So be true
To your school now ♪</i>

34
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:45,438
<i>♪ Just like you would
To your girl, all right ♪</i>

35
00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:48,741
<i>♪ Be true to your school now ♪</i>

36
00:01:48,841 --> 00:01:52,062
<i>♪ And let your colors fly ♪</i>

37
00:01:52,162 --> 00:01:55,081
<i>♪ Be true to your school ♪</i>

38
00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:58,018
<i>♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪</i>

39
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,153
<i>♪ Ra, ra, ra, ra ♪</i>

40
00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:01,837
<i>♪ Sis, boom, ba ♪</i>

41
00:02:01,937 --> 00:02:05,025
<i>♪ Ra, ra, ra, ra
Sis, boom, ba ♪</i>

42
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:08,094
<i>♪ Ra, ra, ra, ra
Sis, boom, ba ♪</i>

43
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:12,131
<i>♪ Ra, ra, ra, ra
Sis, boom, ba ♪</i>

44
00:02:12,231 --> 00:02:13,383
<i>♪ Ah ♪</i>

45
00:02:13,483 --> 00:02:16,419
<i>♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪</i>

46
00:02:16,519 --> 00:02:18,521
<i>[CHEERING and APPLAUSE]</i>

47
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,058
MAN:
Speaking off the record

48
00:02:22,158 --> 00:02:24,961
as your uncle's attorney
and close friend,

49
00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:26,062
I'm glad he's dead.

50
00:02:26,162 --> 00:02:28,882
The will is a complex one.

51
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:32,785
In layman's terms, what
this means is that you boys

52
00:02:32,885 --> 00:02:36,773
are your Uncle Willard's
sole heirs and beneficiary.

53
00:02:36,873 --> 00:02:40,376
You will become the owners
of the Grimm Mortuary

54
00:02:40,476 --> 00:02:44,880
as soon as you have fulfilled
the conditions of the will.

55
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,000
BOTH:
What conditions?

56
00:02:48,100 --> 00:02:49,402
That you graduate

57
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,420
from the Grimm Mortuary Academy,

58
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:55,658
the school your uncle founded
when the mortuary was built.

59
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,660
I don't want to become
a mortician.

60
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:58,761
I want to be a doctor!

61
00:02:58,861 --> 00:03:02,665
[CHUCKLES]
Max. Please.

62
00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:06,268
So, uh, how much is
this mortuary worth?

63
00:03:06,368 --> 00:03:07,987
Something in excess

64
00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:09,571
of $2 million.

65
00:03:09,671 --> 00:03:10,974
What?! Wow!

66
00:03:11,074 --> 00:03:14,077
Forget it. I won't become
an embalmer for $10 million.

67
00:03:14,177 --> 00:03:15,061
Max?

68
00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:16,912
[CHUCKLES]
I can understand that.

69
00:03:17,012 --> 00:03:21,200
But there's nothing in the will
about your becoming morticians.

70
00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:23,770
Your uncle simply wanted
to be certain

71
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,254
you would have
an appreciation

72
00:03:25,354 --> 00:03:27,040
of the business
he was leaving you.

73
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,442
Okay. We'll do it.

74
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,043
We'll-- We'll
think about it.

75
00:03:31,143 --> 00:03:32,162
Max!

76
00:03:32,262 --> 00:03:34,864
You have 24 hours.

77
00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:37,299
[DOORBELL CHIMES]

78
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:40,302
Congratulations, Max!

79
00:03:40,402 --> 00:03:42,205
Your letter from Africa,

80
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:44,307
Batonga University
Admissions Department.

81
00:03:44,407 --> 00:03:45,708
Yeah!

82
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:47,810
Man, you applied to
a lot of colleges, didn't you?

83
00:03:47,910 --> 00:03:49,812
Yeah, and they all
turned me down.

84
00:03:49,912 --> 00:03:53,315
This is my last hope.

85
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,721
What?

86
00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:00,223
Shit! It's written
in Batongan.

87
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,825
Let me take a peek at it.
I know all that African stuff.

88
00:04:02,925 --> 00:04:05,228
Yeah?

89
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,330
Oh, I'm sorry, Max.

90
00:04:07,430 --> 00:04:08,231
What?

91
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:09,799
You didn't qualify.

92
00:04:09,899 --> 00:04:11,201
Mr. Schuyler?

93
00:04:11,301 --> 00:04:15,305
Could I possibly go home
just a little early today?

94
00:04:15,405 --> 00:04:16,206
[SNORTS]

95
00:04:16,306 --> 00:04:17,290
There's a crisis,

96
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:18,291
and my brother's...

97
00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:19,642
He's not coping too well.

98
00:04:19,742 --> 00:04:21,828
Grimm, don't bust my balls.

99
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,881
I pay you eight hours,
you're gonna work eight hours.

100
00:04:24,981 --> 00:04:26,482
See that yuppie bastard
in the Volvo?

101
00:04:26,582 --> 00:04:28,684
With Ray-Bans and
the Brooks Brothers shirt?

102
00:04:28,784 --> 00:04:30,687
I want you to stick his ass
in a BMW.

103
00:04:30,787 --> 00:04:31,387
<i>Capisci?</i>

104
00:04:31,487 --> 00:04:34,656
Hey, how much for that little
turbo stud over there?

105
00:04:34,756 --> 00:04:37,010
I don't know a heck of a lot

106
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,077
about these turbo studs.

107
00:04:38,177 --> 00:04:40,579
Uh, Ferlinghetti
discontinued it.

108
00:04:40,679 --> 00:04:43,983
But basically,
it's a bar mitzvah on wheels.

109
00:04:44,083 --> 00:04:45,485
I know all about it.

110
00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:47,587
Does this one have
all the original sex toys?

111
00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:49,489
Gosh, I think so.

112
00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:51,591
It's not really
a family car.

113
00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:54,594
I'm not buying it
for my wife, asshole.

114
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:55,495
Thank you.

115
00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:57,430
Give me the keys and let me
take it for a demo, huh?

116
00:04:57,530 --> 00:04:58,848
The keys are in it.

117
00:04:58,948 --> 00:05:00,382
[SPEAKS INAUDIBLY]

118
00:05:00,482 --> 00:05:03,269
[ENGINE PURRING]

119
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:05,772
[TIRES SQUEAL]

120
00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:07,257
Grimm, are you insane?

121
00:05:07,357 --> 00:05:09,042
Put the yuppie
in the Beamer, not the Reamer.

122
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,560
That car's a killer,
no one drives it.

123
00:05:10,660 --> 00:05:12,462
The sexual safety balloon
is defective.

124
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,780
A short in the vibrator.
It was going to the wrecker.

125
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:15,898
You see that Cadillac?

126
00:05:15,998 --> 00:05:17,300
I drive that
'cause I got brains.

127
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,617
You drive
that fucked-over VW

128
00:05:18,717 --> 00:05:20,653
'cause your head's
swollen with baby vomit.

129
00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:21,554
Listen to me--

130
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,155
You listen to me,
you toxic vagina.

131
00:05:23,255 --> 00:05:25,708
If anything happens to that guy,
it's my balls!

132
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,327
Geek.

133
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:31,648
[SIGHS]

134
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:32,882
Hey, Jose!

135
00:05:32,982 --> 00:05:33,783
Hose B!

136
00:05:33,883 --> 00:05:35,384
Go see Schuyler.

137
00:05:35,484 --> 00:05:37,887
Checks came in early.

138
00:05:37,987 --> 00:05:40,890
[LAUGHING EVILLY]

139
00:05:47,230 --> 00:05:48,631
[TIRES SQUEAL]

140
00:05:48,731 --> 00:05:50,733
SCHUYLER:
Hey, you fat-ass schmuck!

141
00:05:50,833 --> 00:05:53,235
Get the fuck outta here!

142
00:05:54,737 --> 00:05:57,773
Come back here! I want you
to see this car, goddamn it!

143
00:05:57,873 --> 00:06:00,276
Max?

144
00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:04,780
I'm home!

145
00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:07,283
Max!

146
00:06:07,383 --> 00:06:09,686
[CRASH]

147
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:10,787
Oh, no.

148
00:06:10,887 --> 00:06:13,940
Not again.

149
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,791
Don't come in here!

150
00:06:15,891 --> 00:06:18,044
Oh, Max.

151
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:26,769
MAX: Tammy wants to marry
a doctor. not an embalmer, Sam.

152
00:06:26,869 --> 00:06:28,254
Tammy!

153
00:06:28,354 --> 00:06:30,022
We-- We were just
talking about you.

154
00:06:31,941 --> 00:06:33,343
Hi, Max.

155
00:06:33,443 --> 00:06:34,444
I stopped by just to see

156
00:06:34,544 --> 00:06:36,846
if you'd heard
from medical school yet.

157
00:06:36,946 --> 00:06:39,182
♪ I brought along
The nurse's uniform ♪

158
00:06:39,282 --> 00:06:41,284
Oh, yeah, Sam and I are going
to mortuary school.

159
00:06:41,384 --> 00:06:42,969
We've inherited a mortuary.

160
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:43,970
Isn't that great?

161
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,072
I'm afraid I can't
see you anymore, Max.

162
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:47,239
Why? What do you mean?

163
00:06:47,339 --> 00:06:49,809
I'd rather die than marry
a gut plumber.

164
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,661
You may as well take back
your nurse's uniform.

165
00:06:52,761 --> 00:06:54,080
I had it dry-cleaned.

166
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:55,448
Maybe at the mortuary,

167
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:57,967
you'll find some other nurse
to help you with your...

168
00:06:58,067 --> 00:07:00,370
<i>little</i> problem.

169
00:07:00,470 --> 00:07:01,454
What problem?

170
00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:03,422
Let's just say
that your brother has...

171
00:07:03,522 --> 00:07:05,992
certain...inadequacies

172
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,595
that make a relationship
with a girl like I <i>impossible.</i>

173
00:07:09,695 --> 00:07:12,097
Bye, Max.

174
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,504
What was that about?

175
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:20,405
She's right.
I've got a problem.

176
00:07:21,407 --> 00:07:22,825
What problem?

177
00:07:24,327 --> 00:07:26,329
Uh...with kissing.

178
00:07:26,429 --> 00:07:28,781
Kissing?

179
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,352
Well...

180
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:33,353
First of all, Max,

181
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,705
there's no problem
that money can't solve.

182
00:07:35,805 --> 00:07:38,825
Tammy will break out
the kneepads and mouthwash

183
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:40,910
when she finds out
how rich you are.

184
00:07:41,010 --> 00:07:43,245
[CHUCKLES]

185
00:07:44,747 --> 00:07:47,487
[♪]

186
00:07:53,494 --> 00:07:54,995
[SNORING]

187
00:08:02,219 --> 00:08:03,753
MAN: By the way, Sam,
Jerry Buss called.

188
00:08:03,853 --> 00:08:05,005
He and Jack want to meet you

189
00:08:05,105 --> 00:08:08,008
at Spago for dinner
after the Lakers game tonight.

190
00:08:09,310 --> 00:08:11,812
Maps to the stars' homes, $2.

191
00:08:11,912 --> 00:08:12,813
Schuyler!

192
00:08:12,913 --> 00:08:14,582
Is that you?

193
00:08:14,682 --> 00:08:16,100
Schuyler! Hey!

194
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:17,601
Work with me.

195
00:08:17,701 --> 00:08:21,505
Grimm? Sam Grimm?
The mortuary king?

196
00:08:21,605 --> 00:08:23,224
That's me, babe.

197
00:08:23,324 --> 00:08:25,826
Oh, c-congratulations
on your great success.

198
00:08:25,926 --> 00:08:27,011
Thank you.

199
00:08:27,111 --> 00:08:28,612
What happened
to your legs?

200
00:08:28,712 --> 00:08:31,114
I...I lost them
in a poker game.

201
00:08:31,214 --> 00:08:33,434
I'm blind too, you know,

202
00:08:33,534 --> 00:08:35,536
and I have hemorrhoids
the size of monkey heads.

203
00:08:35,636 --> 00:08:36,737
Ah.

204
00:08:36,837 --> 00:08:37,804
But how do you live?

205
00:08:37,904 --> 00:08:40,708
I sell maps,
turn tricks.

206
00:08:40,808 --> 00:08:43,811
For 3 bucks, I can make
a man feel real good.

207
00:08:43,911 --> 00:08:44,712
Oh.

208
00:08:44,812 --> 00:08:46,647
Come and work for me
at the mansion.

209
00:08:46,747 --> 00:08:48,215
I can always use a man
with no legs.

210
00:08:48,315 --> 00:08:49,617
Oh!

211
00:08:49,717 --> 00:08:52,119
You're--
You're a saint.

212
00:08:52,219 --> 00:08:53,720
[ATOMIZER SPRAYS]

213
00:08:53,820 --> 00:08:54,622
[MOANS]

214
00:08:54,722 --> 00:08:56,557
Put him in the trunk!

215
00:08:56,657 --> 00:08:58,058
[LAUGHTER ECHOES]

216
00:09:19,997 --> 00:09:23,717
I'd like to make
a <i>big</i> deposit.

217
00:09:23,817 --> 00:09:25,986
NURSES:
Ooh!

218
00:09:26,086 --> 00:09:28,588
Is all that money really yours?

219
00:09:28,688 --> 00:09:29,824
Uh-huh.

220
00:09:29,924 --> 00:09:30,925
And the nurses too?

221
00:09:31,025 --> 00:09:31,926
That's right,

222
00:09:32,026 --> 00:09:35,496
and it isn't easy
keeping them all satisfied.

223
00:09:35,596 --> 00:09:37,264
Well, what about your problem?

224
00:09:37,364 --> 00:09:39,432
NURSES:
What problem?

225
00:09:39,532 --> 00:09:41,469
Listen, Max,

226
00:09:41,569 --> 00:09:43,571
what do you say we go out
right now

227
00:09:43,671 --> 00:09:44,972
and get married?

228
00:09:45,072 --> 00:09:46,573
Marriage is a disease.

229
00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:49,159
NURSES:
And we're the cure!

230
00:09:49,259 --> 00:09:50,261
Tammy,

231
00:09:50,361 --> 00:09:52,263
you had your chance.

232
00:09:52,363 --> 00:09:54,365
Now eat your heart out.

233
00:09:54,465 --> 00:09:55,866
Girls?

234
00:09:55,966 --> 00:09:59,369
[NURSES LAUGH]

235
00:09:59,469 --> 00:10:02,589
[SOBBING]

236
00:10:16,770 --> 00:10:18,271
Come on, Max.

237
00:10:18,371 --> 00:10:20,174
It's game time.

238
00:10:20,274 --> 00:10:21,275
Forget it. I'm not going.

239
00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:23,177
Max!

240
00:10:23,277 --> 00:10:25,179
It's $2 million.

241
00:10:25,279 --> 00:10:26,780
Frankly, Sam,
I don't give a damn.

242
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:27,815
[PHONE RINGS]

243
00:10:27,915 --> 00:10:28,916
Grimm Mortuary and Academy.

244
00:10:29,016 --> 00:10:29,917
You kill 'em, we chill 'em.

245
00:10:30,017 --> 00:10:32,186
Excuse me, we're Sam
and Max Grimm, and we--

246
00:10:32,286 --> 00:10:34,288
Listen, I've been waiting
almost one hour.

247
00:10:34,388 --> 00:10:35,789
Where the hell
is Truscott?

248
00:10:35,889 --> 00:10:36,574
I told you.

249
00:10:36,674 --> 00:10:39,176
Dr. Truscott is
in the embalming room

250
00:10:39,276 --> 00:10:41,028
and cannot be disturbed.

251
00:10:41,128 --> 00:10:42,530
This bill
is eight-months overdue.

252
00:10:42,630 --> 00:10:44,131
If I don't receive payment
by next week,

253
00:10:44,231 --> 00:10:46,883
he's gonna find himself
without Lullaby Baby Caskets.

254
00:10:46,983 --> 00:10:47,918
Got it?

255
00:10:48,018 --> 00:10:49,602
Ah! Pinhead.

256
00:10:49,702 --> 00:10:51,505
[LAUGHS]

257
00:10:51,605 --> 00:10:54,024
We have an appointment
with Dr. Truscott.

258
00:10:54,124 --> 00:10:54,925
Oh!

259
00:10:55,025 --> 00:10:56,126
Well,

260
00:10:56,226 --> 00:10:57,127
have a seat.

261
00:10:57,227 --> 00:10:58,728
I'll let him know
you're here.

262
00:10:58,828 --> 00:11:00,731
Thank you.

263
00:11:03,701 --> 00:11:06,153
TRUSCOTT: What a tragedy
that such a beautiful woman

264
00:11:06,253 --> 00:11:08,071
should be struck down
in her prime,

265
00:11:08,171 --> 00:11:13,978
transformed into a cold,
motionless object of desire.

266
00:11:14,078 --> 00:11:15,479
But how fortunate

267
00:11:15,579 --> 00:11:20,083
that I possess the sacred
knowledge and the chemicals

268
00:11:20,183 --> 00:11:24,588
that permit me
to memorialize you,

269
00:11:24,688 --> 00:11:30,093
to transform you
and preserve you forever.

270
00:11:34,982 --> 00:11:37,985
Those perfect breasts.

271
00:11:38,085 --> 00:11:40,988
This mound of Venus.

272
00:11:41,088 --> 00:11:43,891
These ruby lips.

273
00:11:43,991 --> 00:11:47,394
This...mound of Venus.

274
00:11:47,494 --> 00:11:51,498
Before I bestow my gift
of eternal preservation,

275
00:11:51,598 --> 00:11:56,904
let me endow you with another,
more earthly, sensual pleasure.

276
00:11:57,004 --> 00:11:59,323
SECRETARY [OVER INTERCOM]:
<i>Paging Dr. Truscott.</i>

277
00:11:59,423 --> 00:12:02,092
<i>There are two gentlemen who say
they have an appointment.</i>

278
00:12:02,192 --> 00:12:03,543
In a minute, Helen.

279
00:12:03,643 --> 00:12:05,045
[CLEARS THROAT]

280
00:12:05,145 --> 00:12:06,413
I hereby endow

281
00:12:06,513 --> 00:12:07,514
into your sacred flesh--

282
00:12:07,614 --> 00:12:09,015
Forget it, Paul.

283
00:12:09,115 --> 00:12:09,917
[SIGHS]

284
00:12:10,017 --> 00:12:11,018
The mood's broken.

285
00:12:11,118 --> 00:12:13,687
I'm gonna have
that intercom torn out.

286
00:12:13,787 --> 00:12:15,638
It's worse
than call-waiting.

287
00:12:15,738 --> 00:12:16,640
You know, Paul,

288
00:12:16,740 --> 00:12:19,643
most people like
a little sexual motion--

289
00:12:19,743 --> 00:12:20,644
No, no, no.

290
00:12:20,744 --> 00:12:23,313
I find that
very disorienting.

291
00:12:23,413 --> 00:12:26,684
Can we...pick up
after my interview?

292
00:12:26,784 --> 00:12:29,153
Do I have to take
another ice bath?

293
00:12:29,253 --> 00:12:32,206
You know how much
it means to me.

294
00:12:32,306 --> 00:12:34,892
Oh...

295
00:12:34,992 --> 00:12:38,962
Dr. Truscott
will see you now.

296
00:12:47,004 --> 00:12:49,006
Ah, the brothers Grimm,
I presume.

297
00:12:49,106 --> 00:12:50,407
Dr. Truscott.

298
00:12:50,507 --> 00:12:52,509
Sam Grimm.
How do you do?

299
00:12:52,609 --> 00:12:53,810
Max.

300
00:12:55,312 --> 00:12:57,715
Delighted.

301
00:12:57,815 --> 00:12:59,817
Well, you boys bear
a distressing resemblance

302
00:12:59,917 --> 00:13:02,152
to my dear friend Willard Grimm,
our late founder.

303
00:13:02,252 --> 00:13:04,654
He was our uncle.

304
00:13:04,754 --> 00:13:06,173
Oh, yes.

305
00:13:06,273 --> 00:13:08,241
That would explain it.
Of course.

306
00:13:08,341 --> 00:13:11,145
And you were his nephews.

307
00:13:11,245 --> 00:13:12,646
And now you want to carry on

308
00:13:12,746 --> 00:13:13,696
in the family tradition.

309
00:13:13,796 --> 00:13:14,598
How touching.

310
00:13:14,698 --> 00:13:16,734
We're anxious
to begin our studies.

311
00:13:16,834 --> 00:13:17,835
Impetuous youth!

312
00:13:17,935 --> 00:13:20,738
Surely you understand
that we're in mid-semester.

313
00:13:20,838 --> 00:13:22,840
Why, our students
have already mastered

314
00:13:22,940 --> 00:13:24,191
the basics of bereavement,

315
00:13:24,291 --> 00:13:25,292
the essentials of embalming.

316
00:13:25,392 --> 00:13:26,793
See? I told you.
Come on, let's go.

317
00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:27,695
Sit down, Max.

318
00:13:27,795 --> 00:13:29,580
I don't mean
to discourage you boys.

319
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:31,081
As nephews of Willard Grimm,

320
00:13:31,181 --> 00:13:33,183
I'm naturally eager to offer you
every opportunity.

321
00:13:33,283 --> 00:13:36,186
You can start classes
this afternoon if you wish.

322
00:13:36,286 --> 00:13:37,705
But be prepared

323
00:13:37,805 --> 00:13:38,772
to work hard,

324
00:13:38,872 --> 00:13:42,058
harder than you've ever worked
in your lives.

325
00:13:42,158 --> 00:13:43,560
How do you do, boys?

326
00:13:43,660 --> 00:13:47,214
May I introduce
Miss Mary Purcell, my assistant.

327
00:13:47,314 --> 00:13:50,533
Your uncle was a great man,
and we shall miss him terribly.

328
00:13:50,633 --> 00:13:52,720
Did you know
our Uncle Willard well?

329
00:13:52,820 --> 00:13:55,239
As well as anybody
could know your uncle.

330
00:13:55,339 --> 00:13:57,307
He was in our thoughts always.

331
00:13:57,407 --> 00:13:59,943
Even when he was too ill
to be here in person.

332
00:14:00,043 --> 00:14:02,279
Well, class will be
beginning soon. Ouch!

333
00:14:02,379 --> 00:14:03,797
What is it, Miss Purcell?

334
00:14:03,897 --> 00:14:05,498
It's these. My breasts.

335
00:14:05,598 --> 00:14:08,819
They're so sore. They ache.

336
00:14:08,919 --> 00:14:10,720
The nipples strain
against the bodice.

337
00:14:10,820 --> 00:14:13,173
I can't imagine why.

338
00:14:14,508 --> 00:14:15,376
[LAUGHS]

339
00:14:15,476 --> 00:14:17,211
Miss Purcell loves

340
00:14:17,311 --> 00:14:18,712
to quote the classics.

341
00:14:18,812 --> 00:14:21,314
Well, I'd better take
you boys to class.

342
00:14:21,414 --> 00:14:22,833
You don't want to be late

343
00:14:22,933 --> 00:14:24,434
on your first day of school.

344
00:14:24,534 --> 00:14:25,151
This way.

345
00:14:27,020 --> 00:14:29,022
MAN:
I don't know. You tell me.

346
00:14:29,122 --> 00:14:30,924
[WOMAN SIGHS]

347
00:14:31,024 --> 00:14:33,427
I told you I need a carton
of cigarettes everyday,

348
00:14:33,527 --> 00:14:35,529
and if I don't get a carton
of cigarettes everyday,

349
00:14:35,629 --> 00:14:36,530
I get very unhappy,

350
00:14:36,630 --> 00:14:38,031
and when I get very unhappy,

351
00:14:38,131 --> 00:14:40,533
I make those around me
very unhappy.

352
00:14:40,633 --> 00:14:43,370
Abbott, you're not
in prison anymore.

353
00:14:44,838 --> 00:14:45,839
Quiet, class.

354
00:14:45,939 --> 00:14:49,243
We have a few announcements
before we begin.

355
00:14:49,343 --> 00:14:51,845
Class, I'd like to introduce
two new students.

356
00:14:51,945 --> 00:14:55,365
They're starting a little late,
but we have high hopes for them.

357
00:14:55,465 --> 00:14:56,466
Sam and Max Grimm.

358
00:14:56,566 --> 00:14:57,835
[CLASS GROANING]

359
00:14:57,935 --> 00:14:59,519
MAN:
Great. Two more gut-plumbers.

360
00:15:01,522 --> 00:15:05,442
Unfortunately, I have bad news
for two other students.

361
00:15:05,542 --> 00:15:08,846
Mr. Capshaw and Mr. Brody,

362
00:15:08,946 --> 00:15:11,448
your tuition checks failed
to clear at the bank this month.

363
00:15:11,548 --> 00:15:14,451
You are therefore expelled
from this academy,

364
00:15:14,551 --> 00:15:16,035
effective immediately.

365
00:15:16,135 --> 00:15:19,039
Kindly collect your things
and leave at once.

366
00:15:19,139 --> 00:15:21,108
Hey, you can't do that!

367
00:15:21,208 --> 00:15:22,709
My tuition's paid for
by the state.

368
00:15:22,809 --> 00:15:26,295
Helen, would you show
Mr. Brody to the street?

369
00:15:26,395 --> 00:15:27,797
No!

370
00:15:27,897 --> 00:15:29,199
No!

371
00:15:29,299 --> 00:15:30,451
No, you can't
do this to me!

372
00:15:30,551 --> 00:15:31,552
I've heard enough
from you.

373
00:15:31,652 --> 00:15:33,454
[WHIMPERING]

374
00:15:33,554 --> 00:15:34,455
Troublemaker!

375
00:15:34,555 --> 00:15:36,557
Now, class,
I thought it would be nice

376
00:15:36,657 --> 00:15:40,143
if we introduced ourselves
to the new students.

377
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:42,546
Mr. Dickson?

378
00:15:42,646 --> 00:15:44,498
I'm Don Dickson.

379
00:15:44,598 --> 00:15:47,601
Some of you may have seen
my robot creations

380
00:15:47,701 --> 00:15:48,886
at Animal World.

381
00:15:48,986 --> 00:15:51,989
The boxing rabbits
and the singing flamingos

382
00:15:52,089 --> 00:15:54,892
are all designed
and built by me.

383
00:15:54,992 --> 00:15:56,493
I like the Beatles,

384
00:15:56,593 --> 00:16:00,180
long walks on the beach
at sunset,

385
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:01,281
and I have some ideas

386
00:16:01,381 --> 00:16:06,286
that hopefully will
revolutionize the industry.

387
00:16:06,386 --> 00:16:07,104
Oh.

388
00:16:07,204 --> 00:16:08,705
And I'm a Capricorn.

389
00:16:08,805 --> 00:16:11,374
[CLASS APPLAUDS]

390
00:16:13,377 --> 00:16:15,496
My name is Abbott Smith.

391
00:16:15,596 --> 00:16:17,097
I'm on parole from Vacaville

392
00:16:17,197 --> 00:16:20,517
where I did time for a triple
homicide and some burglary.

393
00:16:20,617 --> 00:16:23,436
I'm here on a rehab program.

394
00:16:23,536 --> 00:16:26,290
I like to ski, play chess

395
00:16:26,390 --> 00:16:27,557
and barbecue.

396
00:16:27,657 --> 00:16:31,561
I'm also working on a novel.

397
00:16:32,279 --> 00:16:33,630
Oh.

398
00:16:33,730 --> 00:16:37,233
I'm a Sagittarius.

399
00:16:38,735 --> 00:16:41,070
[CLASS APPLAUDS]

400
00:16:41,170 --> 00:16:42,222
[♪]

401
00:16:42,322 --> 00:16:44,057
I'm Valerie Levitt,

402
00:16:44,157 --> 00:16:46,626
and my favorite band
is Radio Werewolf.

403
00:16:46,726 --> 00:16:50,030
I used to be president
of their fan club.

404
00:16:50,130 --> 00:16:51,631
I wanted to be
a part of their band,

405
00:16:51,731 --> 00:16:53,617
but they wouldn't let me.

406
00:16:53,717 --> 00:16:55,218
So I decided that
being a mortician

407
00:16:55,318 --> 00:16:58,238
would be
the next best thing.

408
00:16:58,338 --> 00:17:01,057
Of course, I'm interested
in the cosmetic end.

409
00:17:01,157 --> 00:17:02,960
My favorite
flavors

410
00:17:03,060 --> 00:17:05,245
are chocolate, vanilla
and strawberry.

411
00:17:05,345 --> 00:17:08,348
And my favorite possession
in the whole wide world

412
00:17:08,448 --> 00:17:10,400
is my little dog,

413
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:11,802
Mouse.

414
00:17:11,902 --> 00:17:14,154
And we're
both Virgos.

415
00:17:14,254 --> 00:17:17,157
[SPEAKING IN HEBREW]

416
00:17:21,862 --> 00:17:22,863
Larry doesn't
speak English,

417
00:17:22,963 --> 00:17:26,016
but his family has given
a great deal of money

418
00:17:26,116 --> 00:17:27,017
to the academy,

419
00:17:27,117 --> 00:17:28,284
so we have decided to waive

420
00:17:28,384 --> 00:17:31,504
the English
and sight requirements

421
00:17:31,604 --> 00:17:33,006
in his case.

422
00:17:33,106 --> 00:17:34,408
...Gemini.

423
00:17:34,508 --> 00:17:36,860
[STUDENTS APPLAUD]

424
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:40,914
♪ James Dandridge is my name
Jim Dandy for short ♪

425
00:17:41,014 --> 00:17:44,284
♪ I'm the jack-of-all-trades
The master of the mort ♪

426
00:17:44,384 --> 00:17:46,787
♪ Entrepreneur by day
Embalmer by night ♪

427
00:17:46,887 --> 00:17:48,388
♪ Draining blood
From dead bodies ♪

428
00:17:48,488 --> 00:17:50,207
♪ Is my life ♪

429
00:17:50,307 --> 00:17:51,708
♪ Well, somebody's
Gotta do it ♪

430
00:17:51,808 --> 00:17:52,809
♪ Might as well
Be me ♪

431
00:17:52,909 --> 00:17:54,310
♪ But I'll tell you
One thing ♪

432
00:17:54,410 --> 00:17:55,929
♪ It won't
Be free ♪

433
00:17:56,029 --> 00:17:57,530
♪ 'Cause I'm gonna start
A chain of these ♪

434
00:17:57,630 --> 00:17:59,199
♪ For that
Special occasion ♪

435
00:17:59,299 --> 00:18:02,735
♪ For every race, color, creed
And sexual persuasion ♪

436
00:18:02,835 --> 00:18:04,021
I'm a Leo.

437
00:18:04,121 --> 00:18:06,289
[STUDENTS APPLAUD]

438
00:18:08,291 --> 00:18:10,694
I think that's enough
introductions for now.

439
00:18:10,794 --> 00:18:12,796
I'm going to turn
the class now over to--

440
00:18:12,896 --> 00:18:14,164
SAM: Excuse me.

441
00:18:14,264 --> 00:18:16,817
Max and I would just
like to say

442
00:18:16,917 --> 00:18:18,201
that we're very excited

443
00:18:18,301 --> 00:18:19,969
about being here,
right, Max?

444
00:18:20,069 --> 00:18:22,406
[BOTH LAUGH NERVOUSLY]

445
00:18:22,506 --> 00:18:25,809
Ever since Max and I were
tiny little orphans,

446
00:18:25,909 --> 00:18:28,295
we've had a dream.

447
00:18:28,395 --> 00:18:31,298
When all the other kids were
killing themselves playing war,

448
00:18:31,398 --> 00:18:32,899
my brother Max and I
were picking up

449
00:18:32,999 --> 00:18:34,517
all the little
dead bodies.

450
00:18:34,617 --> 00:18:36,186
[SAM LAUGHS]

451
00:18:36,286 --> 00:18:37,838
[SIGHS]
Okay.

452
00:18:37,938 --> 00:18:39,339
Is that it?

453
00:18:39,439 --> 00:18:40,841
That's--
That's it.

454
00:18:40,941 --> 00:18:42,943
Why don't you
take your seats?

455
00:18:43,043 --> 00:18:45,195
And I'll turn the class back

456
00:18:45,295 --> 00:18:47,764
to Miss Purcell.

457
00:18:47,864 --> 00:18:50,616
MAN:
Uh, can I ask you to move there, please?

458
00:18:50,716 --> 00:18:51,852
Today, class,

459
00:18:51,952 --> 00:18:53,753
we're going to talk
a little about

460
00:18:53,853 --> 00:18:56,256
casket-side manner
and body display.

461
00:18:56,356 --> 00:18:58,692
Here's a hypothetical situation.

462
00:18:58,792 --> 00:19:00,794
It's 100 degrees
in the shade.

463
00:19:00,894 --> 00:19:03,196
The air conditioning
is on the blink.

464
00:19:03,296 --> 00:19:04,748
But you've done
your best

465
00:19:04,848 --> 00:19:06,750
to fix the face
of the poor bastard

466
00:19:06,850 --> 00:19:08,852
who got hit in the head
with a baseball bat,

467
00:19:08,952 --> 00:19:11,221
but he still looks like
the Phantom of the Opera,

468
00:19:11,321 --> 00:19:12,722
and he stinks
of the heat.

469
00:19:12,822 --> 00:19:14,440
His girlfriend

470
00:19:14,540 --> 00:19:15,709
files by.

471
00:19:15,809 --> 00:19:17,811
And she faints--

472
00:19:17,911 --> 00:19:19,229
[SIGHS]

473
00:19:21,231 --> 00:19:22,649
What do you do?

474
00:19:22,749 --> 00:19:23,684
Fuck her.

475
00:19:23,784 --> 00:19:24,785
[ALL LAUGH]

476
00:19:24,885 --> 00:19:27,788
You, Max,
come here.

477
00:19:29,289 --> 00:19:31,791
MAN:
Do it, dude. Do it, dude.

478
00:19:31,891 --> 00:19:32,793
Chicken.

479
00:19:32,893 --> 00:19:34,194
[♪]

480
00:19:34,294 --> 00:19:35,696
[CLEARS THROAT]

481
00:19:35,796 --> 00:19:36,797
MAN:
Go for it.

482
00:19:36,897 --> 00:19:37,881
I don't know.

483
00:19:37,981 --> 00:19:39,232
Mouth-to-mouth,

484
00:19:39,332 --> 00:19:40,534
you stupid dick.

485
00:19:40,634 --> 00:19:41,635
[STUDENTS LAUGH]

486
00:19:48,141 --> 00:19:49,642
[SIGHS]

487
00:19:55,649 --> 00:19:57,050
I can't.

488
00:19:57,150 --> 00:19:58,651
I'm sorry, I've
got this thing--

489
00:19:58,751 --> 00:20:00,153
Hey, that's
okay, Max.

490
00:20:00,253 --> 00:20:01,154
It's okay.

491
00:20:01,254 --> 00:20:03,557
Sit down.
I'll take over.

492
00:20:03,657 --> 00:20:07,160
So, little lady,
what seems to be the problem?

493
00:20:07,260 --> 00:20:10,564
How about a little
mouth-to-mouth?

494
00:20:10,664 --> 00:20:12,165
JAMES:
Give it to her, baby.

495
00:20:14,167 --> 00:20:16,702
[STUDENTS EXCLAIMING]

496
00:20:19,372 --> 00:20:20,289
Yeah!

497
00:20:21,508 --> 00:20:22,458
Uh-huh.

498
00:20:23,460 --> 00:20:25,462
JAMES:
Suck on it! Suck! Yes!

499
00:20:25,562 --> 00:20:27,297
That-- That's enough.

500
00:20:27,397 --> 00:20:28,698
[SIGHS]

501
00:20:28,798 --> 00:20:32,518
Uh, you can take
your seat now.

502
00:20:32,618 --> 00:20:34,020
[SIGHS]

503
00:20:36,022 --> 00:20:37,424
Um--

504
00:20:37,524 --> 00:20:39,025
Whoo!

505
00:20:40,527 --> 00:20:45,532
Well, now I'd like to talk about
the special problems

506
00:20:45,632 --> 00:20:50,320
that sometimes come up
when displaying the body.

507
00:20:50,420 --> 00:20:52,272
For example,

508
00:20:52,372 --> 00:20:57,827
sometimes the loved one
is decapitated.

509
00:21:07,754 --> 00:21:09,472
[LAUGHS]

510
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:13,243
Sorry to bother you,
Dr. Truscott,

511
00:21:13,343 --> 00:21:15,645
but they're bringing
in the Hollyhead girl.

512
00:21:15,745 --> 00:21:16,546
Who?

513
00:21:16,646 --> 00:21:18,048
You know,
the cheerleader

514
00:21:18,148 --> 00:21:20,150
who choked on popcorn
at the drive-in.

515
00:21:20,250 --> 00:21:21,501
Oh, yes.

516
00:21:21,601 --> 00:21:23,170
Her boyfriend was with her

517
00:21:23,270 --> 00:21:24,137
when it happened,

518
00:21:24,237 --> 00:21:26,272
and he's waiting for you
now in the chapel.

519
00:21:26,372 --> 00:21:27,324
Thank you, Helen.

520
00:21:38,251 --> 00:21:40,620
[ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING]

521
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:41,587
Oh, my!

522
00:21:52,716 --> 00:21:54,718
You must be
Miss Hollyhead's boyfriend.

523
00:21:54,818 --> 00:21:57,120
Randy Sampson.

524
00:21:57,220 --> 00:22:00,723
I'm Paul Truscott,
director of Grimm Mortuary.

525
00:22:02,225 --> 00:22:04,727
What was
Miss Hollyhead's first name?

526
00:22:06,229 --> 00:22:07,230
Linda.

527
00:22:07,330 --> 00:22:09,132
Linda.

528
00:22:09,232 --> 00:22:10,733
Such a lovely name.

529
00:22:10,833 --> 00:22:12,135
What a shame.

530
00:22:12,235 --> 00:22:14,237
[SOBBING]
I blame myself.

531
00:22:14,337 --> 00:22:16,239
I bought her
the popcorn.

532
00:22:16,339 --> 00:22:18,642
She didn't even
want any.

533
00:22:18,742 --> 00:22:20,644
I killed her.
Now, now.

534
00:22:20,744 --> 00:22:23,246
All that's not going to
bring Linda back, is it?

535
00:22:23,346 --> 00:22:25,248
Try to pull yourself
together, Randy.

536
00:22:25,348 --> 00:22:27,750
There are just a few
questions I need to ask you

537
00:22:27,850 --> 00:22:29,252
about the loved one.

538
00:22:29,352 --> 00:22:30,654
Yes, sir.

539
00:22:30,754 --> 00:22:33,256
What was
her religious affiliation?

540
00:22:33,356 --> 00:22:34,658
Catholic.

541
00:22:34,758 --> 00:22:36,159
Excellent.

542
00:22:36,259 --> 00:22:39,679
And was she a native
of Southern California?

543
00:22:39,779 --> 00:22:41,081
Yes, she was.

544
00:22:41,181 --> 00:22:43,583
And at the time
of her death,

545
00:22:43,683 --> 00:22:45,184
was she still
a virgin?

546
00:22:45,284 --> 00:22:47,087
Yeah!

547
00:22:47,187 --> 00:22:48,588
Yeah.

548
00:22:48,688 --> 00:22:50,090
[SNIFFLING]

549
00:22:50,190 --> 00:22:53,193
It was her
17th birthday.

550
00:22:54,694 --> 00:22:56,696
We were supposed to go
all the way that night

551
00:22:56,796 --> 00:22:58,698
after the movie.

552
00:22:58,798 --> 00:23:00,100
[SNIFFLING]

553
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,703
If I hadn't bought
that fucking popcorn...

554
00:23:03,803 --> 00:23:05,605
[CRYING]
Now, now.

555
00:23:05,705 --> 00:23:07,107
Linda's with God now.

556
00:23:07,207 --> 00:23:09,609
I'm sure she doesn't
blame you for anything.

557
00:23:09,709 --> 00:23:10,710
Try to pull
yourself together.

558
00:23:10,810 --> 00:23:13,212
Let's see if we can get through
the rest of these questions.

559
00:23:13,312 --> 00:23:16,216
What is
her father's profession?

560
00:23:16,316 --> 00:23:18,218
Insurance salesman.

561
00:23:19,219 --> 00:23:22,222
And you did say
she was a virgin?

562
00:23:22,322 --> 00:23:24,124
Yes, sir.

563
00:23:24,224 --> 00:23:26,726
And, uh, she was
a junior in high school

564
00:23:26,826 --> 00:23:29,228
at the time
of her death?

565
00:23:29,328 --> 00:23:30,130
Yes, sir.

566
00:23:30,230 --> 00:23:32,132
And she was
a virgin?

567
00:23:32,232 --> 00:23:34,734
She hadn't yet been
to bed with a man?

568
00:23:34,834 --> 00:23:37,737
She hadn't had
sexual intercourse

569
00:23:37,837 --> 00:23:40,740
at the time
of her death?

570
00:23:42,108 --> 00:23:45,046
A lot of you have been asking
when we would get the chance

571
00:23:45,146 --> 00:23:46,448
to work on a real corpse.

572
00:23:46,548 --> 00:23:47,549
Well, today's the day.

573
00:23:47,649 --> 00:23:49,451
And you're particularly
lucky, class,

574
00:23:49,551 --> 00:23:51,519
because the corpse
we're going to work on

575
00:23:51,619 --> 00:23:53,371
is none other than...

576
00:23:53,471 --> 00:23:54,688
BOTH:
Uncle Willard!

577
00:23:54,788 --> 00:23:57,209
...the founder
of Grimm Mortuary.

578
00:23:57,309 --> 00:23:59,311
It ain't appropriate
to put nobody on display

579
00:23:59,411 --> 00:24:00,595
with a wild-ass,
fucking smile

580
00:24:00,695 --> 00:24:01,645
like this
old son of a bitch.

581
00:24:01,745 --> 00:24:03,265
Hey, watch it!
That's my uncle.

582
00:24:03,365 --> 00:24:04,366
He's nobody's uncle
now, pal.

583
00:24:04,466 --> 00:24:06,268
He's just a piece
of fucking dead meat.

584
00:24:06,368 --> 00:24:07,369
Wonderful.
Thank you.

585
00:24:07,469 --> 00:24:08,353
PURCELL:
Quiet.

586
00:24:08,453 --> 00:24:09,454
I'll show you
in a moment

587
00:24:09,554 --> 00:24:11,706
how we'll wipe
the smile off his face.

588
00:24:11,806 --> 00:24:12,691
But first,

589
00:24:12,791 --> 00:24:13,792
we have to
drain him

590
00:24:13,892 --> 00:24:15,193
with this.

591
00:24:15,293 --> 00:24:16,294
[STUDENT GASPS]

592
00:24:16,394 --> 00:24:18,196
Oh, my God!
Holy shit.

593
00:24:18,296 --> 00:24:22,317
After which, we'll pump his body
full of embalming fluid.

594
00:24:22,417 --> 00:24:24,419
I thought it would be
a beautiful gesture

595
00:24:24,519 --> 00:24:26,421
if we let one of
the new students

596
00:24:26,521 --> 00:24:28,840
for whom this corpse
has special meaning

597
00:24:28,940 --> 00:24:29,708
do the job.

598
00:24:29,808 --> 00:24:31,759
Would you like
to do the honors?

599
00:24:31,859 --> 00:24:33,662
Ah! Ohhh!

600
00:24:33,762 --> 00:24:35,764
Very sensitive.

601
00:24:36,765 --> 00:24:38,466
ABBOTT:
You pussies!

602
00:24:38,566 --> 00:24:39,467
Give me that!

603
00:24:39,567 --> 00:24:41,402
Oh, Abbott,
why don't you do it?

604
00:24:41,502 --> 00:24:42,487
[GASPS]

605
00:24:44,489 --> 00:24:46,391
Yeah!

606
00:24:46,491 --> 00:24:47,992
[SQUELCHING]

607
00:24:48,092 --> 00:24:48,894
Yeah!

608
00:24:48,994 --> 00:24:50,395
Very good,
Abbott.

609
00:24:50,495 --> 00:24:54,900
There is no room for cheap
sentiment or weak stomachs

610
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,501
in the mortuary
business.

611
00:24:56,601 --> 00:24:57,585
Uh-uh.

612
00:24:57,685 --> 00:25:00,588
[MAX VOMITING]

613
00:25:04,592 --> 00:25:06,093
Max, are you
all right?

614
00:25:06,193 --> 00:25:08,096
[TOILET FLUSHES]

615
00:25:10,598 --> 00:25:13,001
Oh. I'll be okay.

616
00:25:13,101 --> 00:25:15,603
Jesus, you know, I don't think
I'll be able to handle this.

617
00:25:15,703 --> 00:25:17,505
Oh.
That's okay.

618
00:25:17,605 --> 00:25:19,507
I'm sorry.
That's okay.

619
00:25:19,607 --> 00:25:21,509
I know it's
a little rough.

620
00:25:21,609 --> 00:25:24,111
But, Max, you gotta look
at the big picture.

621
00:25:24,211 --> 00:25:26,014
Two million dollars.

622
00:25:26,114 --> 00:25:29,617
I know, but I just don't think
I'm cut out for this.

623
00:25:29,717 --> 00:25:31,118
Oh, sure you are.

624
00:25:31,218 --> 00:25:32,520
[COUGHS and GROANS]

625
00:25:32,620 --> 00:25:34,371
I'll buy you
a little lunch.

626
00:25:34,471 --> 00:25:35,873
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

627
00:25:37,876 --> 00:25:39,878
Forget the dipstick,
dipshit,

628
00:25:39,978 --> 00:25:42,530
and serve
the television dinners!

629
00:25:42,630 --> 00:25:43,531
This is our
meal ticket.

630
00:25:43,631 --> 00:25:45,132
We got to ride this one
into the beach.

631
00:25:45,232 --> 00:25:47,035
But, Sam,
we don't surf.

632
00:25:47,135 --> 00:25:49,253
That Valerie is
a luscious, fabulous woman,

633
00:25:49,353 --> 00:25:50,655
and she's interested
in you.

634
00:25:50,755 --> 00:25:51,639
Don't bullshit me,
Sam.

635
00:25:51,739 --> 00:25:54,141
I'm not. I can tell by the way
she looks at your lips.

636
00:25:54,241 --> 00:25:57,045
Yeah, when I made fool of myself
in front of the whole class?

637
00:25:57,145 --> 00:25:59,147
Hey, your uncle must've
really been something.

638
00:25:59,247 --> 00:26:02,150
He took twice the normal
amount of embalming fluid.

639
00:26:02,250 --> 00:26:04,435
Oh, please.

640
00:26:04,535 --> 00:26:06,438
Thank you.

641
00:26:06,538 --> 00:26:08,273
Geek.

642
00:26:11,493 --> 00:26:12,394
[RETCHING]

643
00:26:12,494 --> 00:26:13,995
SAM: I always
liked this place.

644
00:26:14,095 --> 00:26:16,398
I love the people,
I love the food.

645
00:26:16,498 --> 00:26:18,500
Gosh, we are having
the best day--

646
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:19,901
Shut up, Sam!

647
00:26:20,001 --> 00:26:21,903
Gosh, I am
so sorry.

648
00:26:22,003 --> 00:26:23,405
How insensitive
of me.

649
00:26:23,505 --> 00:26:25,507
That's okay. She didn't
mean anything by it.

650
00:26:25,607 --> 00:26:27,492
JAMES: Hi.

651
00:26:27,592 --> 00:26:29,594
Uh, can I talk to
you boys for a second?

652
00:26:29,694 --> 00:26:30,495
Certainly.

653
00:26:30,595 --> 00:26:33,999
Now, look, I know you guys
aren't here for your health.

654
00:26:34,099 --> 00:26:35,517
See, I can tell that
by the look

655
00:26:35,617 --> 00:26:36,518
on this
motherfucker.

656
00:26:36,618 --> 00:26:38,019
BOTH:
So where are you from?

657
00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:39,537
JAMES: The way
I'm seeing it,

658
00:26:39,637 --> 00:26:41,706
you're probably gonna
take over this place soon.

659
00:26:41,806 --> 00:26:42,807
Pasadena.
Garden Grove.

660
00:26:42,907 --> 00:26:44,058
JAMES: You're
gonna need

661
00:26:44,158 --> 00:26:45,377
a right-hand man,

662
00:26:45,477 --> 00:26:47,479
and I've got all kinds of ideas
on how to run this place.

663
00:26:47,579 --> 00:26:49,381
I don't think so.

664
00:26:49,481 --> 00:26:52,350
Now, I could kick
your slim ass.

665
00:26:52,450 --> 00:26:53,951
Was that true about you
and Radio Werewolf?

666
00:26:54,051 --> 00:26:55,453
Why don't you two
get acquainted,

667
00:26:55,553 --> 00:26:57,455
and we'll be conferencing
right over here.

668
00:26:57,555 --> 00:27:01,292
Well, to tell you the truth,
I've never heard them.

669
00:27:01,392 --> 00:27:02,193
Really?

670
00:27:02,293 --> 00:27:03,695
Well, they're gonna be
in concert

671
00:27:03,795 --> 00:27:04,796
this weekend
at the Arena.

672
00:27:04,896 --> 00:27:05,980
It's gonna
be huge.

673
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:08,149
JAMES: That's why
you need rubber gloves.

674
00:27:08,249 --> 00:27:09,717
You can catch
all kinds of diseases.

675
00:27:09,817 --> 00:27:11,719
Would you like
to go?

676
00:27:14,589 --> 00:27:16,891
Yeah! Yeah,
that'd be great.

677
00:27:16,991 --> 00:27:18,259
Hey, terrific.

678
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:19,794
[LAUGHING]

679
00:27:19,894 --> 00:27:21,996
Got it, you got it.
Okay.

680
00:27:22,096 --> 00:27:23,097
[MECHANICAL BUZZING]

681
00:27:23,197 --> 00:27:26,000
Mmm. How are the Grimm brothers
doing in their studies?

682
00:27:26,100 --> 00:27:27,601
I don't think that
the Grimm brothers

683
00:27:27,701 --> 00:27:30,004
are cut out for
the mortuary business.

684
00:27:30,104 --> 00:27:32,006
You should've seen
the older one freak

685
00:27:32,106 --> 00:27:33,508
when I started
to embalm his uncle.

686
00:27:33,608 --> 00:27:34,609
I knew
they wouldn't last

687
00:27:34,709 --> 00:27:36,644
the minute they walked
through the door.

688
00:27:36,744 --> 00:27:39,246
There is something about
the younger one, though.

689
00:27:39,346 --> 00:27:40,982
Oh, really, Mary?

690
00:27:41,082 --> 00:27:42,583
He is aggressive.

691
00:27:42,683 --> 00:27:44,002
He's smart.

692
00:27:44,102 --> 00:27:45,403
And sexy.

693
00:27:45,503 --> 00:27:47,822
And really
good-looking.

694
00:27:47,922 --> 00:27:51,326
Oh, I don't find him
attractive at all.

695
00:27:51,426 --> 00:27:54,679
I just think that he's gonna
excel in a number of areas.

696
00:27:54,779 --> 00:27:56,081
Have you lost
your mind?

697
00:27:56,181 --> 00:27:57,182
Don't you know
what happens

698
00:27:57,282 --> 00:27:59,367
if they graduate from
the Mortuary Academy?

699
00:27:59,467 --> 00:28:00,968
Didn't you read that copy
of Willard's will

700
00:28:01,068 --> 00:28:03,121
I had stolen from
his attorney's office?

701
00:28:03,221 --> 00:28:04,855
Paul, what are you
talking about?

702
00:28:04,955 --> 00:28:07,358
I'm talking about sole
ownership of the mortuary,

703
00:28:07,458 --> 00:28:09,594
building and grounds.

704
00:28:09,694 --> 00:28:11,362
I'm assuming his nephews
get it all.

705
00:28:11,462 --> 00:28:12,780
If they graduate.

706
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:14,231
Get the picture?

707
00:28:14,331 --> 00:28:15,633
And if they fail?

708
00:28:15,733 --> 00:28:17,519
Ownership reverts
to present management.

709
00:28:17,619 --> 00:28:18,536
In other words, me.

710
00:28:18,636 --> 00:28:20,388
Or us.

711
00:28:20,488 --> 00:28:21,890
If we become
partners.

712
00:28:21,990 --> 00:28:23,491
Oh, Paul, is that
a proposal?

713
00:28:23,591 --> 00:28:24,992
Not exactly.
Keep on rubbing.

714
00:28:25,092 --> 00:28:26,494
We'll see
what happens.

715
00:28:26,594 --> 00:28:28,396
Oh, Paul,
I love you.

716
00:28:28,496 --> 00:28:31,900
Let's do it. Let's
do it in the garage.

717
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,501
Let's do it
in the hearse.

718
00:28:33,601 --> 00:28:36,003
Let's do it in the mud,
and then we can--

719
00:28:36,103 --> 00:28:37,505
[WHISPERING]

720
00:28:37,605 --> 00:28:38,907
[LAUGHS]

721
00:28:39,007 --> 00:28:40,174
That sounds lovely.

722
00:28:40,274 --> 00:28:41,576
But there's
some things

723
00:28:41,676 --> 00:28:44,178
I have to take care of
around here tonight.

724
00:28:52,020 --> 00:28:54,022
SAM:
Hey, Larry!

725
00:28:54,122 --> 00:28:56,024
Time to eat!

726
00:29:00,612 --> 00:29:03,281
This chili is
really good, Abbott.

727
00:29:03,381 --> 00:29:04,149
Really?

728
00:29:04,249 --> 00:29:06,167
Won the blue ribbon
five years running

729
00:29:06,267 --> 00:29:07,168
at Vacaville.

730
00:29:07,268 --> 00:29:08,285
VALERIE:
Really?

731
00:29:08,385 --> 00:29:09,904
[SPEAKING
IN HEBREW]

732
00:29:10,004 --> 00:29:11,406
Where did you get that, Larry?

733
00:29:11,506 --> 00:29:12,924
Remember when you
got lost at Macy's

734
00:29:13,024 --> 00:29:14,342
and I had to buy this
Porta-Potty?

735
00:29:14,442 --> 00:29:15,410
No.

736
00:29:15,510 --> 00:29:16,928
Yeah, I found you
an hour later,

737
00:29:17,028 --> 00:29:18,663
caught by the guards,

738
00:29:18,763 --> 00:29:19,764
crying your
little eyes out.

739
00:29:19,864 --> 00:29:21,048
I don't remember.

740
00:29:21,148 --> 00:29:22,617
[SPEAKS IN HEBREW]

741
00:29:22,717 --> 00:29:24,018
He had to take a tinkle, Larry.

742
00:29:24,118 --> 00:29:25,920
Oh, that's
really cute.

743
00:29:26,020 --> 00:29:27,304
How old were you?

744
00:29:30,191 --> 00:29:32,093
Eighteen.

745
00:29:32,193 --> 00:29:33,060
[LAUGHTER]

746
00:29:35,563 --> 00:29:37,565
Guys like you
used to get lost

747
00:29:37,665 --> 00:29:39,567
in the joint
all the time.

748
00:29:39,667 --> 00:29:42,069
But they never
got found.

749
00:29:42,169 --> 00:29:45,206
[GUFFAWING]

750
00:29:47,709 --> 00:29:50,478
Oh, poor Max.

751
00:29:50,578 --> 00:29:52,230
[SPEAKS IN HEBREW]

752
00:29:52,330 --> 00:29:53,698
DON:
An enema, Larry?

753
00:29:53,798 --> 00:29:55,549
What good would that do?

754
00:29:55,649 --> 00:29:59,921
Hey, Larry, I didn't know
you were into water and power.

755
00:30:00,021 --> 00:30:00,822
Max?

756
00:30:00,922 --> 00:30:02,490
Hey, Sam,

757
00:30:02,590 --> 00:30:03,958
what's
all this food?

758
00:30:04,058 --> 00:30:05,559
MAX: Don't come
in here.

759
00:30:05,659 --> 00:30:07,562
Sam, is
that Max?

760
00:30:07,662 --> 00:30:08,963
Uh...

761
00:30:09,063 --> 00:30:10,832
[LAUGHS]

762
00:30:10,932 --> 00:30:12,584
Oh, that's
a kidder.

763
00:30:12,684 --> 00:30:14,686
He's done this for--
VALERIE: Max!

764
00:30:16,321 --> 00:30:17,822
Max, stop
fooling around.

765
00:30:17,922 --> 00:30:19,557
No.

766
00:30:19,657 --> 00:30:21,825
Max, you're ruining
the tapioca.

767
00:30:21,925 --> 00:30:23,228
Just leave me
alone.

768
00:30:23,328 --> 00:30:24,445
Let me go quietly to sleep

769
00:30:24,545 --> 00:30:25,446
and freeze
to death.

770
00:30:25,546 --> 00:30:26,347
Max!

771
00:30:26,447 --> 00:30:27,948
Uh, why don't you
get him out of here

772
00:30:28,048 --> 00:30:29,450
and I'll go
get a blanket?

773
00:30:29,550 --> 00:30:31,352
[LAUGHS]

774
00:30:31,452 --> 00:30:33,354
Max, does the light
really go off

775
00:30:33,454 --> 00:30:34,455
when you close
the door?

776
00:30:34,555 --> 00:30:35,756
[LAUGHS]

777
00:30:35,856 --> 00:30:37,659
Max.

778
00:30:37,759 --> 00:30:40,161
I understand.

779
00:30:40,261 --> 00:30:43,164
We all need
somebody to love.

780
00:30:43,264 --> 00:30:46,267
Like, I-- I have
this little dog, Max.

781
00:30:46,367 --> 00:30:47,168
Oh.

782
00:30:47,268 --> 00:30:48,670
No, really, Max.

783
00:30:48,770 --> 00:30:50,271
He's-- He's the sweetest
little thing.

784
00:30:50,371 --> 00:30:53,174
He's so tiny.

785
00:30:53,274 --> 00:30:55,276
Except, every week,
I have to hide him

786
00:30:55,376 --> 00:30:57,778
because my mother has
all these fat women over

787
00:30:57,878 --> 00:30:59,781
for diet seminars.

788
00:30:59,881 --> 00:31:03,184
Oh, I love him so.

789
00:31:03,284 --> 00:31:06,787
And you're gonna
love him too, Max.

790
00:31:06,887 --> 00:31:10,191
Uh, I don't need
a dog.

791
00:31:10,291 --> 00:31:14,696
I need a-- I need
a girl to love me.

792
00:31:14,796 --> 00:31:18,549
Oh, but I guess
that'll never happen.

793
00:31:18,649 --> 00:31:21,619
[BELL TOLLS]

794
00:31:21,719 --> 00:31:24,688
[WATER DRIPPING]

795
00:31:44,709 --> 00:31:47,712
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

796
00:31:54,218 --> 00:31:56,621
Linda,
it's Paul Truscott.

797
00:31:56,721 --> 00:31:58,222
Would you come out
for a moment?

798
00:31:58,322 --> 00:32:00,724
I'd like to talk
to you, if I may.

799
00:32:15,239 --> 00:32:17,574
Mmm.

800
00:32:19,076 --> 00:32:21,078
I hope I'm not
disturbing you.

801
00:32:21,178 --> 00:32:23,481
What?
Behind my back?

802
00:32:23,581 --> 00:32:25,583
See if you can guess.

803
00:32:25,683 --> 00:32:26,984
[LAUGHS]

804
00:32:27,084 --> 00:32:28,535
Clever girl,
how did you know?

805
00:32:28,635 --> 00:32:29,937
For you.

806
00:32:30,037 --> 00:32:32,490
Yes, they're
my favorite too.

807
00:32:32,590 --> 00:32:34,541
I spoke with Randy today.

808
00:32:34,641 --> 00:32:37,695
Such a sweet boy,
but not right for you.

809
00:32:37,795 --> 00:32:40,665
Somehow, I see you
with someone older,

810
00:32:40,765 --> 00:32:43,684
someone who could
appreciate your subtleties.

811
00:32:43,784 --> 00:32:46,186
My beard? Do you like it?

812
00:32:46,286 --> 00:32:48,589
I've always worn it.

813
00:32:48,689 --> 00:32:51,191
Some women tell me
it tickles when I--

814
00:32:51,291 --> 00:32:52,693
[CHUCKLES]

815
00:32:52,793 --> 00:32:54,095
You know.

816
00:32:54,195 --> 00:32:56,381
Let me be frank.

817
00:32:56,481 --> 00:32:57,949
I find you very attractive,

818
00:32:58,049 --> 00:33:03,271
but I'm not interested in any
fly-by-night, casual romance.

819
00:33:03,371 --> 00:33:06,290
I've had my heart broken
too many times.

820
00:33:07,875 --> 00:33:09,877
What?

821
00:33:10,878 --> 00:33:12,880
[WHISPERS] What?

822
00:33:13,881 --> 00:33:16,383
Oh, darling, nothing would
give me more pleasure.

823
00:33:16,483 --> 00:33:17,885
It's what I long for.

824
00:33:17,985 --> 00:33:22,290
But I don't think we should,
not on our first date.

825
00:33:22,390 --> 00:33:26,894
I'd better go now, before we
do something we both regret.

826
00:33:33,734 --> 00:33:36,686
[LARRY SPEAKING HEBREW]

827
00:34:03,130 --> 00:34:05,333
[SCREAMING]

828
00:34:05,433 --> 00:34:06,183
[ALL SCREAMING]

829
00:34:08,519 --> 00:34:12,139
Larry! Larry, you've got
to learn to concentrate.

830
00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:13,458
MAN:
Whoa!

831
00:34:13,558 --> 00:34:16,060
[PROPELLERS BUZZING]

832
00:34:17,728 --> 00:34:20,397
Now, the most important thing
in dumping ashes

833
00:34:20,497 --> 00:34:24,719
is to do it in one swift,
decisive gesture.

834
00:34:24,819 --> 00:34:26,620
Here, Max.
You do the honors.

835
00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:30,358
Uh, I feel sick. Could
somebody else please do it?

836
00:34:30,458 --> 00:34:33,410
Max, we're flying over
Santa Anita at 3000 feet.

837
00:34:33,510 --> 00:34:36,080
Just dump the fucking ashes.

838
00:34:37,081 --> 00:34:38,382
Oh! Oh, no, no!

839
00:34:38,482 --> 00:34:41,068
[SCREAMING]

840
00:34:41,168 --> 00:34:43,003
[LARRY SPEAKING HEBREW]

841
00:34:44,005 --> 00:34:45,957
ALL: Larry!

842
00:34:46,057 --> 00:34:47,341
Get off me, you squid.

843
00:34:50,144 --> 00:34:53,680
The drill's over. That's it.
Kill the fans.

844
00:34:53,780 --> 00:34:54,999
Max.

845
00:34:55,099 --> 00:34:57,835
You owe the academy $50
for that urn,

846
00:34:57,935 --> 00:34:59,186
$100 for my dress,

847
00:34:59,286 --> 00:35:01,756
in addition to a $25 shampoo

848
00:35:01,856 --> 00:35:04,608
to get the loved one
out of my hair.

849
00:35:04,708 --> 00:35:09,597
That's $175, Max.

850
00:35:09,697 --> 00:35:12,954
PURCELL: Now, cremation
is a real art form.

851
00:35:13,054 --> 00:35:15,556
It's also a great way
to make a quick buck.

852
00:35:17,608 --> 00:35:18,609
How long has it been in?

853
00:35:18,709 --> 00:35:20,110
I think it should be
done by now.

854
00:35:20,210 --> 00:35:21,512
Just leave it in.

855
00:35:21,612 --> 00:35:25,516
No, no. Leave it in any longer,
and it'll be ruined.

856
00:35:25,616 --> 00:35:27,534
We might as well
see if it's ready.

857
00:35:27,634 --> 00:35:29,937
Valerie, be careful.

858
00:35:30,037 --> 00:35:32,873
VALERIE: Ow! It's too hot.

859
00:35:34,325 --> 00:35:35,943
Abbott.

860
00:35:36,043 --> 00:35:37,945
You pussies.

861
00:35:38,045 --> 00:35:39,079
[STEAM HISSING]

862
00:35:39,179 --> 00:35:40,982
[SCREAMING]

863
00:35:41,082 --> 00:35:46,470
Oh, damn, man. That's what
I call finger-lickin' good.

864
00:35:46,570 --> 00:35:48,456
[SIZZLING]

865
00:35:48,556 --> 00:35:51,225
You'll learn more
about the mortuary business

866
00:35:51,325 --> 00:35:53,077
in the next five days

867
00:35:53,177 --> 00:35:55,413
than you ever thought possible.

868
00:35:55,513 --> 00:35:57,415
We are going to reveal to you

869
00:35:57,515 --> 00:35:59,517
professional secrets
of Grimm Mortuary

870
00:35:59,617 --> 00:36:02,853
that are worth hundreds
of dollars on the black market.

871
00:36:02,953 --> 00:36:06,274
And if any of you
ever reveal them,

872
00:36:06,374 --> 00:36:10,261
we will track you down
and kill you.

873
00:36:10,361 --> 00:36:11,412
Fuckin' A!

874
00:36:11,512 --> 00:36:12,814
Miss Purcell?

875
00:36:12,914 --> 00:36:14,415
Will any of
these activities

876
00:36:14,515 --> 00:36:17,000
bring us into conflict
with the police?

877
00:36:17,100 --> 00:36:20,321
The only thing you have
to worry about, Mr. Dickson,

878
00:36:20,421 --> 00:36:22,089
is direct conflict with me.

879
00:36:22,189 --> 00:36:23,673
Get down, bitch.

880
00:36:23,773 --> 00:36:26,126
All right, all of you,

881
00:36:26,226 --> 00:36:28,429
get in the wagons.

882
00:36:28,529 --> 00:36:31,715
[♪]

883
00:36:49,700 --> 00:36:51,485
[MAN SPEAKING OVER POLICE RADIO]

884
00:36:51,585 --> 00:36:54,772
<i>A traffic accident.
Sixteen hundred East--</i>

885
00:36:54,872 --> 00:36:57,775
PURCELL: A police radio is
indispensable in mortuary work.

886
00:36:57,875 --> 00:36:59,376
[WOMAN SPEAKING
OVER POLICE RADIO]

887
00:36:59,476 --> 00:37:02,747
<i>WOMAN 2: Multiple collision on
Sunset Boulevard, westbound.</i>

888
00:37:02,847 --> 00:37:05,149
<i>Bodies in roadway.
Proceed. Code 3.</i>

889
00:37:05,249 --> 00:37:06,967
PURCELL: Dickson, floor it.

890
00:37:07,067 --> 00:37:09,987
[TIRES SQUEAL]

891
00:37:10,087 --> 00:37:12,990
DICKSON: I-is this gonna
be gory, Miss Purcell?

892
00:37:13,090 --> 00:37:16,226
PURCELL: I can't promise
anything. All I can do is hope.

893
00:37:23,567 --> 00:37:26,403
[TIRES SQUEAL]

894
00:37:27,822 --> 00:37:29,824
Great!
We're the first ones here.

895
00:37:29,924 --> 00:37:32,226
Oh, shit!
It's just like <i>Platoon.</i>

896
00:37:32,326 --> 00:37:33,728
I haven't seen
this much blood

897
00:37:33,828 --> 00:37:36,030
since Jimmy Hawks asked me
to be his cellblock bride.

898
00:37:36,130 --> 00:37:38,782
Oh, my God! This is gross.

899
00:37:38,882 --> 00:37:40,184
I feel sick.

900
00:37:40,284 --> 00:37:42,286
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

901
00:37:42,386 --> 00:37:43,654
Don't worry, Larry.

902
00:37:43,754 --> 00:37:45,922
You'll get a chance
to use the bathroom later.

903
00:37:46,022 --> 00:37:48,508
Get tags on these bodies
as quick as you can.

904
00:37:50,011 --> 00:37:50,845
PURCELL: Go ahead.

905
00:37:53,180 --> 00:37:55,682
JAMES:
Oh, man! He ain't got no dick.

906
00:37:58,269 --> 00:37:59,754
MAN: Hey, hey!

907
00:37:59,854 --> 00:38:01,355
What the hell is
going on around here?

908
00:38:01,455 --> 00:38:03,357
Oh, hi, Anthony.
A little late, aren't you?

909
00:38:03,457 --> 00:38:05,259
Don't be such
a fucking hog, Mary.

910
00:38:05,359 --> 00:38:07,361
There's more than enough bodies
to go around here.

911
00:38:07,461 --> 00:38:08,596
Tony, Tony.

912
00:38:08,696 --> 00:38:09,847
We got here first.

913
00:38:09,947 --> 00:38:11,315
To the victors
belong the spoils.

914
00:38:11,415 --> 00:38:12,934
DON:
Smoking <i>does</i> kill.

915
00:38:13,034 --> 00:38:14,535
Well, I'm
taking that one.

916
00:38:14,635 --> 00:38:16,787
The fuck you are.

917
00:38:19,407 --> 00:38:20,408
[TIRES SQUEAL]

918
00:38:22,293 --> 00:38:24,695
[ALL SHOUTING
IN JAPANESE]

919
00:38:24,795 --> 00:38:25,696
[TIRES SQUEAL]

920
00:38:25,796 --> 00:38:27,247
PURCELL:
Tag all those bodies.

921
00:38:27,347 --> 00:38:28,649
Come on!

922
00:38:28,749 --> 00:38:31,835
MAN: Get your hands
off my stiff!

923
00:38:36,390 --> 00:38:37,891
[BLOWS WHISTLE]

924
00:38:37,991 --> 00:38:38,993
Grimm team,

925
00:38:39,093 --> 00:38:40,411
load up the meat!

926
00:38:40,511 --> 00:38:42,095
MAN 2: Get your hands
off their legs!

927
00:38:48,736 --> 00:38:51,739
[SIRENS WAILING]

928
00:39:08,205 --> 00:39:10,107
Well, class.

929
00:39:10,207 --> 00:39:12,709
All in all, you seem
to have survived blitz week

930
00:39:12,809 --> 00:39:14,111
in pretty good shape,

931
00:39:14,211 --> 00:39:15,712
and I'm very proud of you.

932
00:39:15,812 --> 00:39:19,116
But it is not over yet.

933
00:39:19,216 --> 00:39:21,002
[ALL GROAN]
Quiet.

934
00:39:21,102 --> 00:39:24,755
Put your books away
and prepare for a pop oral.

935
00:39:24,855 --> 00:39:26,723
I got your pop oral right here.

936
00:39:26,823 --> 00:39:28,626
[LAUGHTER]

937
00:39:28,726 --> 00:39:30,127
Are we being
graded on this?

938
00:39:30,227 --> 00:39:31,561
Yes, we are
being graded on this.

939
00:39:31,661 --> 00:39:35,649
It is probably the single most
important exam of the term.

940
00:39:35,749 --> 00:39:37,551
But,
Miss Purcell--

941
00:39:37,651 --> 00:39:38,970
PURCELL: Silence!

942
00:39:39,070 --> 00:39:41,372
Will there be questions
on cosmetology?

943
00:39:41,472 --> 00:39:43,824
That is my very
first question.

944
00:39:43,924 --> 00:39:46,944
What is the red substance

945
00:39:47,044 --> 00:39:49,246
we put on the loved one's lips

946
00:39:49,346 --> 00:39:53,800
in order to improve
his appearance in the casket?

947
00:39:53,900 --> 00:39:55,987
Oh, God. I know this.

948
00:39:56,087 --> 00:39:58,556
It comes in a tube.
We use it in everyday life.

949
00:39:58,656 --> 00:40:00,140
Put it on the lips.

950
00:40:00,240 --> 00:40:02,143
Oh. It's lip...

951
00:40:02,243 --> 00:40:03,044
Um...

952
00:40:03,144 --> 00:40:04,645
No helping,
Mr. Grimm.

953
00:40:07,648 --> 00:40:09,717
It's lip something.

954
00:40:09,817 --> 00:40:11,218
I-I just can't
think of the word.

955
00:40:11,318 --> 00:40:12,720
That's close enough.
It's lipstick.

956
00:40:12,820 --> 00:40:14,154
Oh, wow.
You've passed the test.

957
00:40:16,107 --> 00:40:17,258
Sam.

958
00:40:17,358 --> 00:40:19,760
Your turn next.

959
00:40:19,860 --> 00:40:21,896
I've got this one waxed.

960
00:40:21,996 --> 00:40:25,616
In the 16th century,
in some European countries,

961
00:40:25,716 --> 00:40:28,519
it was against
religious custom

962
00:40:28,619 --> 00:40:31,088
to give funeral rites
to the practitioners

963
00:40:31,188 --> 00:40:33,090
of certain occupations.

964
00:40:33,190 --> 00:40:34,191
I want you

965
00:40:34,291 --> 00:40:36,293
to name three of
those occupations

966
00:40:36,393 --> 00:40:41,348
and cite specific
names and dates.

967
00:40:41,448 --> 00:40:42,750
Uh...

968
00:40:42,850 --> 00:40:44,351
MAN: That wasn't
in the book.

969
00:40:44,451 --> 00:40:46,186
Street sweepers.

970
00:40:46,286 --> 00:40:47,588
Wrong.

971
00:40:47,688 --> 00:40:50,541
Winemakers.
Wrong.

972
00:40:50,641 --> 00:40:52,309
Devil-worshipers.

973
00:40:52,409 --> 00:40:53,177
Wrong.

974
00:40:53,277 --> 00:40:55,445
Actors, Mr. Grimm,
people of the theater,

975
00:40:55,545 --> 00:40:57,381
is the correct answer.

976
00:40:57,481 --> 00:40:58,565
What were the other two?

977
00:40:58,665 --> 00:40:59,817
There weren't any others.

978
00:40:59,917 --> 00:41:01,535
It was a trick question.

979
00:41:01,635 --> 00:41:05,306
[ALL MURMURING]

980
00:41:05,406 --> 00:41:06,824
PURCELL: Dickson.

981
00:41:06,924 --> 00:41:08,893
What do we call the place

982
00:41:08,993 --> 00:41:11,062
where the bodies
are put to final rest,

983
00:41:11,162 --> 00:41:12,663
and I'm gonna
give you a hint.

984
00:41:12,763 --> 00:41:15,232
It often has stones and markers

985
00:41:15,332 --> 00:41:20,220
indicating locations of graves
and the names of the deceased.

986
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:21,956
Cemetery?

987
00:41:22,056 --> 00:41:23,791
Wonderful.

988
00:41:23,891 --> 00:41:25,976
At least some of us
have been doing our homework.

989
00:41:26,076 --> 00:41:27,978
Max Grimm.

990
00:41:32,399 --> 00:41:36,569
What is the chemical composition
of formaldehyde?

991
00:41:36,669 --> 00:41:40,857
And at what temperature
does it vaporize?

992
00:41:40,957 --> 00:41:42,693
MAX: Uh...

993
00:41:44,195 --> 00:41:47,098
Two-C-H...

994
00:41:47,198 --> 00:41:49,150
three-O-H...

995
00:41:49,250 --> 00:41:50,251
plus-O--

996
00:41:50,351 --> 00:41:51,268
Wrong.

997
00:41:51,368 --> 00:41:54,621
Miss Purcell,
I think Max was right.

998
00:41:54,721 --> 00:41:55,773
CLASS:
Yeah.

999
00:41:55,873 --> 00:41:59,443
Well, then, in which hand
do I hold the eraser?

1000
00:41:59,543 --> 00:42:01,511
How the hell should I know?

1001
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,549
The left one.
Wrong. I don't have an eraser.

1002
00:42:05,649 --> 00:42:07,350
You've failed the test.

1003
00:42:07,450 --> 00:42:09,853
[ALL MURMUR]

1004
00:42:13,274 --> 00:42:15,142
[SIREN BLARING]

1005
00:42:15,242 --> 00:42:17,144
Emergency! Emergency!

1006
00:42:17,244 --> 00:42:18,745
Emergency! Emergency!

1007
00:42:18,845 --> 00:42:20,147
Helen, Helen, Helen.

1008
00:42:20,247 --> 00:42:22,149
I'm sorry to interrupt,
Miss Purcell,

1009
00:42:22,249 --> 00:42:24,251
but there's an urgent message
for Miss Valerie.

1010
00:42:24,351 --> 00:42:26,369
Oh, that's all right.
I've finished anyway.

1011
00:42:26,469 --> 00:42:27,988
Class is dismissed.
What is it?

1012
00:42:28,088 --> 00:42:29,589
You're wanted at home
right away.

1013
00:42:29,689 --> 00:42:31,875
I hope it's
nothing serious.

1014
00:42:31,975 --> 00:42:35,378
The test results
will be posted at 5:00.

1015
00:42:35,478 --> 00:42:36,780
Mary!
Paul.

1016
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:39,283
Mary, where's
the Levenstein body?

1017
00:42:39,383 --> 00:42:40,384
What did you do with it?

1018
00:42:40,484 --> 00:42:42,886
I gave it to Abbott
for his cremation project.

1019
00:42:42,986 --> 00:42:44,788
The ashes will be ready
in five days.

1020
00:42:44,888 --> 00:42:45,789
You've gotta stop him.

1021
00:42:45,889 --> 00:42:47,390
The Levensteins
have changed their mind.

1022
00:42:47,490 --> 00:42:49,443
Now they want
an open-casket ceremony.

1023
00:42:49,543 --> 00:42:51,846
Open-casket?

1024
00:42:51,946 --> 00:42:54,298
You told me
I could roast him.

1025
00:42:54,398 --> 00:42:57,768
Now, Abbott, calm down.
There's been a change of plans.

1026
00:42:57,868 --> 00:43:01,371
We need him dressed and ready
for an open-casket ceremony

1027
00:43:01,471 --> 00:43:02,873
in a couple of hours.

1028
00:43:02,973 --> 00:43:04,374
Snap to it.

1029
00:43:05,876 --> 00:43:06,777
Fuck.

1030
00:43:06,877 --> 00:43:09,379
I already sold the legs
to UCBS Medical Center.

1031
00:43:09,479 --> 00:43:11,382
[SPEAKING HEBREW]

1032
00:43:12,883 --> 00:43:14,285
Chicken legs?

1033
00:43:14,385 --> 00:43:17,888
Larry, if they were going to
execute you for having a brain,

1034
00:43:17,988 --> 00:43:19,790
they'd be hanging
an innocent man!

1035
00:43:19,890 --> 00:43:22,392
Chicken legs?!
What are you, a fucking alien?

1036
00:43:22,492 --> 00:43:24,295
Where's that foot?

1037
00:43:24,395 --> 00:43:25,896
I wonder what happened
to Valerie.

1038
00:43:25,996 --> 00:43:27,798
She's been gone
an awful long time.

1039
00:43:27,898 --> 00:43:28,799
I hope she's okay.

1040
00:43:28,899 --> 00:43:30,901
We're supposed to go
to that concert tonight.

1041
00:43:31,001 --> 00:43:33,320
Thanks for reminding me.
I still don't have a date.

1042
00:43:33,420 --> 00:43:35,822
Well, look who's here.

1043
00:43:35,922 --> 00:43:37,224
Valerie!

1044
00:43:37,324 --> 00:43:38,825
What happened?
Are you okay?

1045
00:43:38,925 --> 00:43:40,327
Is your mom okay?

1046
00:43:40,427 --> 00:43:42,229
My mom's okay.

1047
00:43:42,329 --> 00:43:44,831
Except for the bloodstain
on her dress.

1048
00:43:44,931 --> 00:43:45,733
What?

1049
00:43:45,833 --> 00:43:46,917
She, uh...

1050
00:43:47,017 --> 00:43:48,819
She...

1051
00:43:48,919 --> 00:43:52,356
She sat on Mouse.

1052
00:43:52,456 --> 00:43:53,957
ABBOTT:
Ha! Frisbee dog!

1053
00:43:54,057 --> 00:43:55,458
The poor little guy.

1054
00:43:55,558 --> 00:43:57,077
ABBOTT:
Valerie...

1055
00:43:57,177 --> 00:44:00,129
He's up there pissing on that
big fire hydrant in the sky.

1056
00:44:00,229 --> 00:44:01,498
[SOBS]

1057
00:44:01,598 --> 00:44:03,667
[ABBOTT GUFFAWING]

1058
00:44:03,767 --> 00:44:05,268
He looks, uh...

1059
00:44:05,368 --> 00:44:06,170
uh...

1060
00:44:06,270 --> 00:44:07,271
peaceful.

1061
00:44:07,371 --> 00:44:10,591
At least he didn't suffer.

1062
00:44:10,691 --> 00:44:12,192
Well, that all depends
on whether or not

1063
00:44:12,292 --> 00:44:14,027
your momma got a big ass!

1064
00:44:14,127 --> 00:44:15,179
Hey, hey, Dickson,

1065
00:44:15,279 --> 00:44:17,564
wasn't your specialty
dogs at Animal World?

1066
00:44:17,664 --> 00:44:20,567
Do you think
you could, uh...?

1067
00:44:21,568 --> 00:44:24,471
Yeah. But I need
a place to do it.

1068
00:44:24,571 --> 00:44:26,974
I-I need--
I need equipment, supplies.

1069
00:44:27,074 --> 00:44:28,575
Do you think
somebody could sneak us

1070
00:44:28,675 --> 00:44:30,793
into one of them
mortuary workrooms?

1071
00:44:30,893 --> 00:44:32,295
Sam, you can do that.

1072
00:44:32,395 --> 00:44:33,197
Sure, babe.

1073
00:44:33,297 --> 00:44:34,464
DICKSON: Valerie.

1074
00:44:34,564 --> 00:44:36,867
Can I borrow Mouse tonight?

1075
00:44:36,967 --> 00:44:38,369
I promise not to hurt him.

1076
00:44:38,469 --> 00:44:40,721
How you going to hurt
the damn dog? He's already dead.

1077
00:44:43,307 --> 00:44:44,708
Sorry.

1078
00:44:44,808 --> 00:44:46,827
I'm sorry.

1079
00:44:46,927 --> 00:44:48,329
Come on.

1080
00:44:48,429 --> 00:44:50,431
Max, just throw it.
Throw it.

1081
00:44:50,531 --> 00:44:52,433
Come on, throw it at--
Max.

1082
00:44:52,533 --> 00:44:53,834
Max, just--

1083
00:44:53,934 --> 00:44:56,319
<i>TRUSCOTT: "It is therefore
with appreciation</i>

1084
00:44:56,419 --> 00:44:58,322
"that I accept
your kind invitation

1085
00:44:58,422 --> 00:45:02,159
"to the Mortuary Science
Symposium in the Virgin Islands.

1086
00:45:02,259 --> 00:45:06,696
I am hoping accommodations
may be available for my..."

1087
00:45:06,796 --> 00:45:09,099
Uh...
Come on, Max.

1088
00:45:09,199 --> 00:45:10,200
"Fiancée."

1089
00:45:10,300 --> 00:45:12,403
Come on, Maxie.

1090
00:45:12,503 --> 00:45:15,956
Oh, dear. I'll give you
the rest of this later, Helen.

1091
00:45:16,056 --> 00:45:19,209
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

1092
00:45:20,210 --> 00:45:22,162
Shall I call the police?

1093
00:45:22,262 --> 00:45:24,264
Heavens, no. I can handle
the O'Rourke brothers.

1094
00:45:24,364 --> 00:45:25,381
Let them in, Helen.

1095
00:45:25,481 --> 00:45:28,351
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

1096
00:45:31,355 --> 00:45:33,257
Mick, Sean,
how nice to see you.

1097
00:45:33,357 --> 00:45:35,859
Cut the bullshit, Truscott.
You know why we're here.

1098
00:45:35,959 --> 00:45:36,860
Where's our coffin?

1099
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:39,263
Uh, refresh my memory.
Which coffin is that?

1100
00:45:39,363 --> 00:45:40,864
BOTH:
The mother-of-pearl inlaid,

1101
00:45:40,964 --> 00:45:42,365
silk-lined, triple-reinforced,

1102
00:45:42,465 --> 00:45:44,868
fumed-oak, super-deluxe
O'Rourke special edition!

1103
00:45:44,968 --> 00:45:45,719
Prickhead!

1104
00:45:45,819 --> 00:45:46,820
MICK: Dickface!

1105
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:48,722
Valued at $15,000 wholesale,

1106
00:45:48,822 --> 00:45:51,324
which you've had on consignment
for the last 18 months!

1107
00:45:51,424 --> 00:45:53,727
Oh, that coffin.
Did you boys want it back?

1108
00:45:53,827 --> 00:45:55,044
We happen to know you sold it

1109
00:45:55,144 --> 00:45:55,946
two days ago.

1110
00:45:56,046 --> 00:45:58,748
For $20,000. We want
our money now, butt-head!

1111
00:45:58,848 --> 00:45:59,650
That's absurd.

1112
00:45:59,750 --> 00:46:01,718
Why, I hadn't heard
from you boys in so long--

1113
00:46:01,818 --> 00:46:03,720
Somebody told me
you were both in prison.

1114
00:46:03,820 --> 00:46:06,556
--that I sold that casket for
peanuts to some charity case.

1115
00:46:06,656 --> 00:46:08,575
You call Sam Levenstein
a charity case?

1116
00:46:08,675 --> 00:46:10,927
Where did you get that name?
We have our sources, shithead.

1117
00:46:11,027 --> 00:46:12,830
He's richer than God.
Give us the money,

1118
00:46:12,930 --> 00:46:14,598
or we'll take the coffin
with us right now!

1119
00:46:14,698 --> 00:46:17,100
I'll have a check drawn
to you first thing next--

1120
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:18,935
Tomorrow morning.
Nice try, Truscott.

1121
00:46:19,035 --> 00:46:21,338
Okay, Sean, the tight bastard
ain't comin' across.

1122
00:46:21,438 --> 00:46:22,439
Let's go get what's ours.

1123
00:46:22,539 --> 00:46:23,440
Now, wait a minute, boys.

1124
00:46:23,540 --> 00:46:25,059
Hey!

1125
00:46:25,159 --> 00:46:26,560
Mick! Sean!

1126
00:46:26,660 --> 00:46:28,562
Come on, guys,
be reasonable.

1127
00:46:28,662 --> 00:46:30,397
I said I'd give you a check.

1128
00:46:30,497 --> 00:46:33,067
I'm willing to give you
a check. Speak to me.

1129
00:46:33,167 --> 00:46:34,668
What, don't you want a check?

1130
00:46:35,919 --> 00:46:37,571
Wait, stop.
You can't go in there.

1131
00:46:37,671 --> 00:46:39,172
TRUSCOTT:
That's the viewing room.

1132
00:46:39,272 --> 00:46:42,709
Charity case, my ass! That's
the special edition, all right.

1133
00:46:42,809 --> 00:46:44,260
WOMAN:
Oh! Oh!

1134
00:46:45,546 --> 00:46:46,797
Oh!
[SQUELCHING]

1135
00:46:47,798 --> 00:46:49,299
Hey, lady,
your dearly departed's

1136
00:46:49,399 --> 00:46:51,301
gonna leak like
a cheap prophylactic.

1137
00:46:51,401 --> 00:46:52,352
Mr. Truscott!

1138
00:46:52,452 --> 00:46:54,354
BOTH:
Happy trails, doctor!

1139
00:46:54,454 --> 00:46:57,091
I demand an explanation.

1140
00:46:57,191 --> 00:46:58,876
My dear Mrs. Levenstein,

1141
00:46:58,976 --> 00:47:02,479
I discovered only moments ago
that this casket was defective.

1142
00:47:02,579 --> 00:47:03,797
You can see for yourself

1143
00:47:03,897 --> 00:47:05,865
what the caustic chemicals
and lining have done

1144
00:47:05,965 --> 00:47:08,852
to your dear
loved one's body.

1145
00:47:08,952 --> 00:47:12,538
Thank God we caught it
before the damage got any worse.

1146
00:47:12,638 --> 00:47:14,942
This is absolutely
outrageous!

1147
00:47:15,042 --> 00:47:17,044
Naturally, I demanded
that the manufacturers

1148
00:47:17,144 --> 00:47:19,129
take back the casket
immediately.

1149
00:47:19,229 --> 00:47:22,783
I apologize for any
inconvenience or embarrassment

1150
00:47:22,883 --> 00:47:23,884
you may have suffered.

1151
00:47:23,984 --> 00:47:26,069
I-- I don't know
what to say.

1152
00:47:26,169 --> 00:47:28,489
We'll have your loved one
tucked away

1153
00:47:28,589 --> 00:47:32,092
in one of our elegant postmodern
all-pine numbers in a moment.

1154
00:47:32,192 --> 00:47:34,711
But first I do
have to speak to you

1155
00:47:34,811 --> 00:47:36,312
about the additional costs.

1156
00:47:36,412 --> 00:47:38,148
Oh! Ohhh!

1157
00:47:38,248 --> 00:47:40,050
Ohhh...

1158
00:47:40,150 --> 00:47:41,100
[THUD]

1159
00:47:42,603 --> 00:47:44,104
Watch it. You're gonna
hit the fat boys.

1160
00:47:44,204 --> 00:47:46,573
Hey, Max, throw it in here.
Throw it in here.

1161
00:47:46,673 --> 00:47:49,576
Come on,
hit the fat dorks.

1162
00:47:51,078 --> 00:47:52,479
Paul.

1163
00:47:52,579 --> 00:47:55,482
The O'Rourke brothers have taken
away the special-edition casket.

1164
00:47:55,582 --> 00:47:57,083
Please, Mary,
I don't want to talk about it.

1165
00:47:57,183 --> 00:47:59,753
But didn't you just sell
that casket to the Levensteins

1166
00:47:59,853 --> 00:48:01,655
for $30,000?

1167
00:48:01,755 --> 00:48:04,658
Frankly, Mary, I don't remember
what the Levensteins paid.

1168
00:48:04,758 --> 00:48:06,593
But it certainly
wasn't that casket,

1169
00:48:06,693 --> 00:48:08,094
and it wasn't $30,000.

1170
00:48:08,194 --> 00:48:10,697
Now, what about
the Grimm boys?

1171
00:48:10,797 --> 00:48:12,265
Have you
flunked them out yet?

1172
00:48:12,365 --> 00:48:13,667
Soon, Paul. Soon.

1173
00:48:13,767 --> 00:48:15,769
The sooner,
the better, Mary.

1174
00:48:15,869 --> 00:48:18,271
For the good
of everyone involved.

1175
00:48:18,371 --> 00:48:20,807
Now, if you'd excuse me...

1176
00:48:38,375 --> 00:48:40,777
[♪]

1177
00:48:40,877 --> 00:48:42,879
[OPENS DRAWER]

1178
00:48:48,385 --> 00:48:49,386
[GLASS SHATTERS]

1179
00:48:52,089 --> 00:48:52,990
Helen?

1180
00:48:53,090 --> 00:48:54,925
HELEN:
Grimm Mortuary and Academy.

1181
00:48:55,025 --> 00:48:56,910
You snuff 'em,
we stuff 'em.

1182
00:48:57,010 --> 00:48:59,012
I have something personal
to ask you.

1183
00:48:59,112 --> 00:49:00,914
One moment,
please.

1184
00:49:01,014 --> 00:49:04,183
If it's about my period,
I haven't had one for 50 years.

1185
00:49:04,283 --> 00:49:06,319
Not that personal.

1186
00:49:06,419 --> 00:49:08,222
Listen, Helen...

1187
00:49:08,322 --> 00:49:12,326
has Dr. Truscott been
getting any funny calls?

1188
00:49:12,426 --> 00:49:13,227
No.

1189
00:49:13,327 --> 00:49:15,229
Just the usual
creditors.

1190
00:49:15,329 --> 00:49:17,080
You know, threatening his life.

1191
00:49:17,180 --> 00:49:21,200
No, I mean female calls.
Ladies.

1192
00:49:21,300 --> 00:49:22,202
Girls.

1193
00:49:22,302 --> 00:49:24,271
Why, no, Mary.

1194
00:49:24,371 --> 00:49:26,423
And I certainly would have
remembered if he did

1195
00:49:26,523 --> 00:49:28,925
because I haven't had
my period for--

1196
00:49:29,025 --> 00:49:30,676
That's enough. Honestly.

1197
00:49:30,776 --> 00:49:31,945
Oh, Mary.

1198
00:49:32,045 --> 00:49:35,214
Back when I was still
having my period,

1199
00:49:35,314 --> 00:49:39,753
I found out that the best way
to keep a man interested

1200
00:49:39,853 --> 00:49:41,855
is to play the field a little.

1201
00:49:41,955 --> 00:49:44,591
You know, like, diddle around.

1202
00:49:44,691 --> 00:49:46,109
You mean, fuck around?

1203
00:49:57,205 --> 00:49:58,706
Hi, Sam.

1204
00:49:58,806 --> 00:50:00,108
Oh!

1205
00:50:00,208 --> 00:50:02,110
Oh, hello, Miss Purcell.

1206
00:50:02,210 --> 00:50:03,711
What did I do wrong now?

1207
00:50:03,811 --> 00:50:04,613
[LAUGHS]

1208
00:50:04,713 --> 00:50:07,616
You don't have to be in trouble
to get my attention.

1209
00:50:07,716 --> 00:50:08,683
So, what's wrong
with your car?

1210
00:50:08,783 --> 00:50:11,186
Oh, you're in a cheerful mood.

1211
00:50:11,286 --> 00:50:13,288
Got another
pop oral for me?

1212
00:50:13,388 --> 00:50:15,390
Oh, Sam, I know that
seems terribly unfair.

1213
00:50:15,490 --> 00:50:18,293
But we do have to think
of the good of the school.

1214
00:50:18,393 --> 00:50:20,361
Maintaining high standards
and all.

1215
00:50:20,461 --> 00:50:21,263
Oh, right.

1216
00:50:21,363 --> 00:50:22,764
Hey, I don't want
you to think

1217
00:50:22,864 --> 00:50:24,766
that I have anything
against you personally.

1218
00:50:24,866 --> 00:50:25,867
It's quite the opposite.

1219
00:50:25,967 --> 00:50:27,869
Are you saying
you find me attractive?

1220
00:50:27,969 --> 00:50:28,770
Yes.

1221
00:50:28,870 --> 00:50:31,873
You're intelligent
and hard-working

1222
00:50:31,973 --> 00:50:33,775
and serious...

1223
00:50:33,875 --> 00:50:36,878
and absolutely
attractive.

1224
00:50:36,978 --> 00:50:38,880
Attractive? Me?

1225
00:50:38,980 --> 00:50:40,282
Yes, you.

1226
00:50:40,382 --> 00:50:41,783
What are you
doing tonight?

1227
00:50:41,883 --> 00:50:44,385
I got a couple of tickets
to see Radio Werewolf.

1228
00:50:44,485 --> 00:50:47,289
Oh, Radio Werewolf!
Wow, they're my favorite band.

1229
00:50:47,389 --> 00:50:49,291
But I suppose you
already have a date.

1230
00:50:49,391 --> 00:50:50,892
No, as a matter of fact,
I don't.

1231
00:50:50,992 --> 00:50:53,394
Would you like to be
my date, Miss Purcell?

1232
00:50:53,494 --> 00:50:55,297
Would you
call me Mary?

1233
00:50:55,397 --> 00:50:56,965
And I'd be delighted.

1234
00:50:57,065 --> 00:50:59,600
And let's take my car,
because it works.

1235
00:50:59,700 --> 00:51:02,353
[♪]

1236
00:51:06,858 --> 00:51:09,360
A glass of champagne,
my dear?

1237
00:51:11,613 --> 00:51:13,114
You do like champagne,
don't you?

1238
00:51:13,214 --> 00:51:15,117
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

1239
00:51:17,502 --> 00:51:20,037
You know, everything smells
like formaldehyde to me lately.

1240
00:51:20,137 --> 00:51:23,325
Oh. Don't you
like formaldehyde?

1241
00:51:23,425 --> 00:51:27,345
What a pity.
Well, you're very young still.

1242
00:51:28,797 --> 00:51:30,282
A toast.

1243
00:51:30,382 --> 00:51:34,936
To my new handsome friend.

1244
00:51:39,107 --> 00:51:41,442
You know, you look
pretty swell in that dress.

1245
00:51:41,542 --> 00:51:43,712
So thoughtful of Randy
to drop it off.

1246
00:51:43,812 --> 00:51:45,814
So, what would you
like to do tonight?

1247
00:51:45,914 --> 00:51:47,148
Movies?

1248
00:51:47,248 --> 00:51:50,969
Dinner? Hmm?

1249
00:51:51,069 --> 00:51:53,321
I'm really looking forward
to this concert.

1250
00:51:55,290 --> 00:51:57,809
And maybe afterwards...

1251
00:51:57,909 --> 00:52:01,697
I might have a little
surprise for you.

1252
00:52:01,797 --> 00:52:03,799
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

1253
00:52:03,899 --> 00:52:05,750
[LAUGHS]

1254
00:52:08,553 --> 00:52:11,556
[♪]

1255
00:52:14,059 --> 00:52:16,845
Wow, your date's really
trashed, isn't she?

1256
00:52:16,945 --> 00:52:18,980
Didn't eat her fries
or anything.

1257
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:22,801
I guess her eyes are a little
larger than her stomach.

1258
00:52:22,901 --> 00:52:25,570
She looks like a girl
I used to know in high school.

1259
00:52:25,670 --> 00:52:29,424
Weird. Did you know a girl
named Linda Hollyhead?

1260
00:52:29,524 --> 00:52:31,927
The worst thing happened.
She was eating popcorn--

1261
00:52:32,027 --> 00:52:33,028
We're visiting
from Europe,

1262
00:52:33,128 --> 00:52:35,530
and we have to be
in Las Vegas in an hour.

1263
00:52:35,630 --> 00:52:36,982
How much do I owe you?

1264
00:52:37,082 --> 00:52:39,784
Four dollars for the hamburgers
and 75 cents for--

1265
00:52:39,884 --> 00:52:42,921
This ought to cover it.
Keep the change.

1266
00:52:43,839 --> 00:52:46,258
[TIRES SQUEAL]

1267
00:52:46,358 --> 00:52:47,592
[CRASH]

1268
00:52:49,561 --> 00:52:50,796
VALERIE:
I'm so nervous.

1269
00:52:50,896 --> 00:52:53,048
Don't you think that this
should be over by now?

1270
00:52:53,148 --> 00:52:54,149
Dickson's a perfectionist.

1271
00:52:54,249 --> 00:52:55,884
He's using all
his skills on Mouse.

1272
00:52:55,984 --> 00:52:57,986
I should have never
left Mouse unattended

1273
00:52:58,086 --> 00:53:00,989
with all those fat women
at diet seminars.

1274
00:53:01,089 --> 00:53:03,642
Oh, that dog was a champ.

1275
00:53:03,742 --> 00:53:04,743
Is everything
all right?

1276
00:53:04,843 --> 00:53:06,645
He's doing fine.
He's doing great.

1277
00:53:06,745 --> 00:53:08,146
Ohh.
There's just one question.

1278
00:53:08,246 --> 00:53:09,747
We gotta figure out
which one of these

1279
00:53:09,847 --> 00:53:11,650
sounds most like his voice.

1280
00:53:11,750 --> 00:53:12,751
Okay, are you listening?

1281
00:53:12,851 --> 00:53:15,670
[DOG BARKING VICIOUSLY]

1282
00:53:18,039 --> 00:53:19,274
All right.

1283
00:53:19,374 --> 00:53:21,743
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETING]

1284
00:53:21,843 --> 00:53:23,195
And the last one now.

1285
00:53:23,295 --> 00:53:25,096
[MONKEY SQUEALING, COW MOOING]

1286
00:53:25,196 --> 00:53:26,998
I love the last one,

1287
00:53:27,098 --> 00:53:31,552
but I really think the first one
sounds more like Mouse.

1288
00:53:31,652 --> 00:53:34,856
Wait a minute.
What about "Hee-haw"?

1289
00:53:34,956 --> 00:53:37,859
[♪]

1290
00:54:08,340 --> 00:54:09,841
That was such
a great concert.

1291
00:54:09,941 --> 00:54:11,843
I'm a total Radio Werewolf
freak now.

1292
00:54:11,943 --> 00:54:13,662
What the fuck
are we doing here?

1293
00:54:13,762 --> 00:54:16,131
Oh, I've got to check up
on someone-- Something.

1294
00:54:16,231 --> 00:54:17,232
It's only gonna
take a minute.

1295
00:54:17,332 --> 00:54:19,150
Why don't you
come with me?

1296
00:54:22,988 --> 00:54:24,990
It's a little spooky
here at night.

1297
00:54:25,090 --> 00:54:27,492
I think it's romantic.

1298
00:54:37,702 --> 00:54:39,704
That son of a bitch!

1299
00:54:39,804 --> 00:54:42,590
Is there anything wrong?

1300
00:54:42,690 --> 00:54:43,441
Nothing.

1301
00:54:43,541 --> 00:54:46,176
Nothing that an hour or so

1302
00:54:46,276 --> 00:54:50,532
with a nice, healthy
young man like you

1303
00:54:50,632 --> 00:54:53,134
isn't going to make right.

1304
00:54:54,970 --> 00:54:58,606
[♪]

1305
00:55:04,946 --> 00:55:07,632
MAN:
Hey. We're all out of pâté.

1306
00:55:07,732 --> 00:55:09,134
And I'm getting horny.

1307
00:55:09,234 --> 00:55:10,868
Well, whose idea
was it anyway

1308
00:55:10,968 --> 00:55:14,806
not to bring along anyone
of the female persuasion?

1309
00:55:14,906 --> 00:55:17,809
Yeah, we need a little
yin with our yang.

1310
00:55:17,909 --> 00:55:20,411
Well, I'm going on a little
reconnaissance mission.

1311
00:55:20,511 --> 00:55:23,631
You never know what you'll find
lying around on the beach.

1312
00:55:23,731 --> 00:55:26,501
[♪]

1313
00:55:37,595 --> 00:55:40,097
Valerie, don't you think
you've had enough?

1314
00:55:40,197 --> 00:55:42,500
I just can't take it
anymore, Max.

1315
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:44,602
I know. I remember
when Uncle Willard--

1316
00:55:44,702 --> 00:55:46,820
Oh, screw
Uncle Willard, Max!

1317
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:48,673
Mouse is dead!

1318
00:55:48,773 --> 00:55:50,675
Valerie.
Jim, Jim, is he okay?

1319
00:55:50,775 --> 00:55:52,677
Girl, we ain't got no tab
on him right now.

1320
00:55:52,777 --> 00:55:55,079
Just answer this question:
Did Mouse ever wag his tail?

1321
00:55:55,179 --> 00:55:57,065
Why? Is there something wrong
with Mouse's tail?

1322
00:55:57,165 --> 00:55:58,950
Dickson is in there
working on it right now.

1323
00:55:59,050 --> 00:56:00,501
When did Mouse wag his tail?

1324
00:56:00,601 --> 00:56:03,405
Uh...when he was hungry.
Uh-huh.

1325
00:56:03,505 --> 00:56:05,407
When he was happy.
Uh-huh.

1326
00:56:05,507 --> 00:56:07,509
When he had to go
to the bathroom.

1327
00:56:07,609 --> 00:56:10,412
Practically
all the time.

1328
00:56:10,512 --> 00:56:12,013
Good. You can have him.

1329
00:56:12,113 --> 00:56:12,914
Wait, please!

1330
00:56:13,014 --> 00:56:14,416
Can we see him?
Not now.

1331
00:56:14,516 --> 00:56:15,517
Val, let's just get moving.

1332
00:56:15,617 --> 00:56:17,502
No, Max!
I've gotta see him!

1333
00:56:17,602 --> 00:56:18,603
[MACHINERY WHIRRS]

1334
00:56:18,703 --> 00:56:21,623
Mouse! Mouse, what have
they done to you?

1335
00:56:21,723 --> 00:56:23,592
Valerie, no. It's too early.

1336
00:56:23,692 --> 00:56:25,560
You don't wanna see him
in this state.

1337
00:56:25,660 --> 00:56:28,062
Oh, but I just want to see
his tiny little face,

1338
00:56:28,162 --> 00:56:29,064
just for a minute.

1339
00:56:29,164 --> 00:56:30,215
Please.

1340
00:56:30,315 --> 00:56:33,718
All right.
But just for a moment.

1341
00:56:33,818 --> 00:56:35,786
And don't try to talk to him.

1342
00:56:35,886 --> 00:56:37,238
He won't know you.

1343
00:56:37,338 --> 00:56:38,289
Talk to him?

1344
00:56:38,389 --> 00:56:39,190
Why, yes.

1345
00:56:39,290 --> 00:56:41,526
Once the heat sensors are in,

1346
00:56:41,626 --> 00:56:43,828
you'll be amazed
at what he can do.

1347
00:56:50,051 --> 00:56:53,637
Ohh!
[WHINES MECHANICALLY]

1348
00:56:53,737 --> 00:56:55,640
No!

1349
00:56:58,977 --> 00:57:01,729
[♪]

1350
00:57:04,232 --> 00:57:06,234
Linda.

1351
00:57:08,236 --> 00:57:10,238
Linda?

1352
00:57:11,740 --> 00:57:13,742
Linda?

1353
00:57:14,743 --> 00:57:16,911
Linda!

1354
00:57:38,016 --> 00:57:39,918
She's...dead.

1355
00:57:40,018 --> 00:57:41,336
MAN:
Who's dead?

1356
00:57:41,436 --> 00:57:42,937
What are you talking about?

1357
00:57:43,037 --> 00:57:45,590
Look for
yourself.

1358
00:57:45,690 --> 00:57:48,176
Probably fucked her to death.

1359
00:57:48,276 --> 00:57:50,178
Oh, my God. Should we
call the police?

1360
00:57:50,278 --> 00:57:51,779
Not if we don't want
to lose our jobs

1361
00:57:51,879 --> 00:57:55,050
at Balcerowicz, Teller, Niebaum,
Tomosaka and Klein.

1362
00:57:55,150 --> 00:57:57,118
Just leave her here.
People will think she drowned.

1363
00:57:57,218 --> 00:57:59,620
Excuse me, gentlemen.
I'm looking for my fiancée.

1364
00:57:59,720 --> 00:58:02,057
She seems to have gotten lost
last night.

1365
00:58:02,157 --> 00:58:03,291
What did she
look like?

1366
00:58:03,391 --> 00:58:05,326
She's about 5'2",

1367
00:58:05,426 --> 00:58:08,063
brown hair, brown eyes.

1368
00:58:08,163 --> 00:58:09,297
Haven't seen her.

1369
00:58:09,397 --> 00:58:11,116
No.

1370
00:58:11,216 --> 00:58:12,784
Why, there she is.

1371
00:58:12,884 --> 00:58:14,703
In your sleeping bag.

1372
00:58:14,803 --> 00:58:18,089
Oh, that girl.
Why didn't you say something?

1373
00:58:18,189 --> 00:58:20,542
Found her here last night.

1374
00:58:20,642 --> 00:58:23,044
She's very cold
and exhausted.

1375
00:58:23,144 --> 00:58:25,146
That's right. We were just
trying to keep her warm.

1376
00:58:25,246 --> 00:58:26,647
She's a real
party animal.

1377
00:58:26,747 --> 00:58:27,549
Shut up,
will you?

1378
00:58:27,649 --> 00:58:29,150
Look, mister,
we gotta get going.

1379
00:58:29,250 --> 00:58:31,652
She's still sleeping it off.
We don't want to impose.

1380
00:58:31,752 --> 00:58:35,239
Bye.
She can keep the sleeping bag.

1381
00:58:39,194 --> 00:58:41,196
I'm so glad you're safe.

1382
00:58:41,296 --> 00:58:44,649
I was terribly worried.

1383
00:58:44,749 --> 00:58:48,252
We'll overlook whatever happened
between you and those young men.

1384
00:58:48,352 --> 00:58:52,257
I know you could never
feel anything for them.

1385
00:58:53,341 --> 00:58:54,842
Come on, darling.
Let's go home.

1386
00:58:54,942 --> 00:58:56,294
I'll never forget
this night,

1387
00:58:56,394 --> 00:58:58,296
but now we have
decisions to make,

1388
00:58:58,396 --> 00:59:01,299
a future to plan.

1389
00:59:04,352 --> 00:59:06,254
[ENGINE STARTS]

1390
00:59:06,354 --> 00:59:08,256
See? I told you
I could fix it.

1391
00:59:08,356 --> 00:59:10,358
The carburetor is
a delicate piece of machinery.

1392
00:59:10,458 --> 00:59:12,260
Eh, it's not so delicate.

1393
00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:14,362
Just needs a little
diddling with.

1394
00:59:14,462 --> 00:59:16,381
You certainly have
a point there.

1395
00:59:16,481 --> 00:59:18,483
So you're not mad at me
anymore, are you?

1396
00:59:18,583 --> 00:59:21,486
No, I'm not mad at you.

1397
00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:50,348
[DOOR OPENS]

1398
00:59:54,319 --> 00:59:56,671
Oh, my darling.

1399
00:59:56,771 --> 00:59:58,773
There'll be plenty of time
for foreplay

1400
00:59:58,873 --> 01:00:00,491
when we're on our honeymoon.

1401
01:00:00,591 --> 01:00:03,193
I want you to lie
perfectly still.

1402
01:00:03,293 --> 01:00:05,746
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

1403
01:00:06,748 --> 01:00:08,149
Open up!

1404
01:00:08,249 --> 01:00:11,186
Damn!
I'm gonna call the police.

1405
01:00:11,286 --> 01:00:14,005
That won't be necessary,
Mary. It's only me.

1406
01:00:14,105 --> 01:00:15,623
I got here
a little early.

1407
01:00:17,625 --> 01:00:20,028
What were you
doing in here?

1408
01:00:20,128 --> 01:00:22,130
Just cleaning up.
Checking the bodies.

1409
01:00:22,230 --> 01:00:24,132
Why was the door locked?

1410
01:00:24,232 --> 01:00:26,534
Habit, I guess.

1411
01:00:26,634 --> 01:00:30,038
Isn't the Hollyhead girl
a little overdue for burial?

1412
01:00:30,138 --> 01:00:32,040
Her parents can't
quite bring themselves

1413
01:00:32,140 --> 01:00:33,641
to make the final arrangements.

1414
01:00:33,741 --> 01:00:37,144
Hmm. They'd better hurry up.
She's not getting any fresher.

1415
01:00:37,244 --> 01:00:41,149
Wasn't that the Grimm boy
I saw driving away as I arrived?

1416
01:00:41,249 --> 01:00:42,550
How should I know?

1417
01:00:42,650 --> 01:00:45,619
Perhaps he just came to say
a last goodbye to the old place.

1418
01:00:47,121 --> 01:00:51,492
Has Helen sent them notice of
their failure and expulsion yet?

1419
01:00:51,592 --> 01:00:53,394
I don't think so.

1420
01:00:53,494 --> 01:00:54,495
Well, as soon as she does,

1421
01:00:54,595 --> 01:00:57,398
the sooner you and I
become partners.

1422
01:00:57,498 --> 01:00:59,666
I hope I'm making myself
perfectly clear.

1423
01:00:59,766 --> 01:01:01,536
Paul, can we talk about--?

1424
01:01:01,636 --> 01:01:03,137
If you'll excuse me, Mary,

1425
01:01:03,237 --> 01:01:06,173
I have a number of things
to attend to.

1426
01:01:06,273 --> 01:01:07,909
[SCOFFS]

1427
01:01:08,009 --> 01:01:09,477
DICKSON:
Go ahead, try it, Valerie.

1428
01:01:09,577 --> 01:01:11,479
VALERIE:
Sit, Mouse. Beg.

1429
01:01:11,579 --> 01:01:12,881
[BOTH LAUGH]

1430
01:01:12,981 --> 01:01:14,482
I gotta work on that.

1431
01:01:14,582 --> 01:01:15,983
Wag your tail,
Mouse.

1432
01:01:16,083 --> 01:01:17,886
Try patting him.

1433
01:01:17,986 --> 01:01:20,388
I've been having trouble
with the tail.

1434
01:01:20,488 --> 01:01:21,822
Go ahead, go ahead.
It's okay.

1435
01:01:21,922 --> 01:01:23,641
[BARKS]
Oh!

1436
01:01:23,741 --> 01:01:24,742
What, he's gonna
bite you?

1437
01:01:24,842 --> 01:01:27,178
DON: I'll work out
the kinks later tonight.

1438
01:01:27,278 --> 01:01:28,680
By the time
I'm through with him,

1439
01:01:28,780 --> 01:01:30,281
he'll be fetchin'
the morning paper.

1440
01:01:30,381 --> 01:01:33,284
Dickson, show her that little
thing that you were showing me.

1441
01:01:33,384 --> 01:01:34,686
What? Oh.

1442
01:01:34,786 --> 01:01:41,209
Valerie, clap your hands twice
right by his left ear.

1443
01:01:44,212 --> 01:01:47,348
[ALL LAUGHING]

1444
01:01:48,850 --> 01:01:51,853
May I inquire the meaning
of this brouhaha?

1445
01:01:51,953 --> 01:01:54,756
My dog Mouse died,
Dr. Truscott,

1446
01:01:54,856 --> 01:01:57,475
and Dickson
fixed him up for me.

1447
01:01:57,575 --> 01:01:58,793
Yes, sir.

1448
01:01:58,893 --> 01:02:00,795
Your dog?
Yeah.

1449
01:02:00,895 --> 01:02:04,899
May I remind you students
that this is a mortuary academy?

1450
01:02:04,999 --> 01:02:07,802
We deal in the art
of embalming loved ones,

1451
01:02:07,902 --> 01:02:09,904
not stuffing and animating
vulgar house pets.

1452
01:02:10,004 --> 01:02:12,406
Now, you just hold on,
you bald-headed test-tube--

1453
01:02:12,506 --> 01:02:14,909
Am I to understand that
this desecration took place

1454
01:02:15,009 --> 01:02:18,112
on mortuary property,
using mortuary equipment?

1455
01:02:18,212 --> 01:02:19,746
Wasting
mortuary material?

1456
01:02:19,846 --> 01:02:21,950
Please. It was the only way.

1457
01:02:22,050 --> 01:02:23,000
I detect the delinquent hands

1458
01:02:23,100 --> 01:02:24,902
of the brothers Grimm
in this fiasco.

1459
01:02:25,002 --> 01:02:26,003
That's right,
Dr. Truscott.

1460
01:02:26,103 --> 01:02:28,171
It was our idea.
We'll take full responsibility.

1461
01:02:28,271 --> 01:02:29,490
SAM:
Max, Max.

1462
01:02:29,590 --> 01:02:30,591
We figured it was okay,

1463
01:02:30,691 --> 01:02:32,092
since we were gonna, you know,

1464
01:02:32,192 --> 01:02:33,911
end up owning this place
sooner or later.

1465
01:02:34,011 --> 01:02:35,512
Well, you have
another thing coming.

1466
01:02:35,612 --> 01:02:37,415
You're expelled,
the two of you.

1467
01:02:37,515 --> 01:02:39,517
Get out! Get your things
and get out!

1468
01:02:39,617 --> 01:02:40,835
ALL:
What?!

1469
01:02:40,935 --> 01:02:42,436
Sam and Max
wasn't even here.

1470
01:02:42,536 --> 01:02:43,588
I did all the work.

1471
01:02:43,688 --> 01:02:44,855
They only did it
for me.

1472
01:02:44,955 --> 01:02:46,724
Hey, chief. Back off!

1473
01:02:46,824 --> 01:02:49,443
You're expelled too,
you pathetic recidivist.

1474
01:02:49,543 --> 01:02:51,179
All of you, get out.

1475
01:02:51,279 --> 01:02:52,180
Out of my sight!

1476
01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:54,282
Your careers are
with your diplomas:

1477
01:02:54,382 --> 01:02:55,683
in the crematorium oven.

1478
01:02:55,783 --> 01:02:57,785
I don't expect to see any of you
around here again.

1479
01:02:57,885 --> 01:03:01,288
And if I do, you'll all be
arrested for trespassing!

1480
01:03:01,388 --> 01:03:03,741
Good day!

1481
01:03:05,178 --> 01:03:06,679
More come in every day,

1482
01:03:06,779 --> 01:03:09,582
but none of them
ever seem to get paid.

1483
01:03:09,682 --> 01:03:11,684
Well, how long
has this been going on?

1484
01:03:11,784 --> 01:03:15,171
I don't know. Months.

1485
01:03:15,271 --> 01:03:16,673
There's no reason
for this.

1486
01:03:16,773 --> 01:03:19,776
The mortuary's been in the black
ever since I've worked here.

1487
01:03:19,876 --> 01:03:21,444
Where's Dr. Truscott?

1488
01:03:21,544 --> 01:03:23,946
HELEN:
In his office, I think.

1489
01:03:25,198 --> 01:03:28,067
Tuesday at 11:45 a.m.

1490
01:03:28,167 --> 01:03:30,169
What day does it arrive
in the Virgin Islands?

1491
01:03:30,269 --> 01:03:31,571
Not until Sunday?

1492
01:03:31,671 --> 01:03:33,289
I guess that'll
have to be all right.

1493
01:03:33,389 --> 01:03:36,175
I'd like to book one first-class
cabin to Saint Thomas.

1494
01:03:36,275 --> 01:03:37,944
Now I wonder
if you have

1495
01:03:38,044 --> 01:03:39,545
refrigeration facilities
on your ship?

1496
01:03:39,645 --> 01:03:40,947
You do?

1497
01:03:41,047 --> 01:03:43,049
In the cargo hold?

1498
01:03:43,149 --> 01:03:44,451
I see.

1499
01:03:44,551 --> 01:03:47,053
My fiancée has
a very rare medical condition.

1500
01:03:47,153 --> 01:03:50,056
She requires extremely low
temperatures at all times.

1501
01:03:50,156 --> 01:03:51,958
I trust that won't be a problem.

1502
01:03:52,058 --> 01:03:55,061
All right, I'll be down to pick
up the ticket this afternoon.

1503
01:03:55,161 --> 01:03:55,962
No.

1504
01:03:56,062 --> 01:03:57,029
Just one-way.

1505
01:03:57,129 --> 01:04:00,116
I won't be
returning ever.

1506
01:04:00,216 --> 01:04:02,118
[♪]

1507
01:04:05,622 --> 01:04:08,525
Oh, miss.
Yes?

1508
01:04:08,625 --> 01:04:10,026
Excuse me.
Mm-hmm.

1509
01:04:10,126 --> 01:04:12,628
I'm looking for a traveling
ensemble for my fiancée.

1510
01:04:12,728 --> 01:04:14,030
Why, certainly, sir.

1511
01:04:14,130 --> 01:04:16,632
Would you like something
for a cold or a warm climate?

1512
01:04:16,732 --> 01:04:19,536
Warm, but she'll
want to cover up.

1513
01:04:19,636 --> 01:04:21,538
I need something
with a high neck

1514
01:04:21,638 --> 01:04:23,139
and a floor-length skirt,

1515
01:04:23,239 --> 01:04:27,593
and...do you have any parkas
with Odor-Eaters in them?

1516
01:04:27,693 --> 01:04:29,562
I beg your pardon?

1517
01:04:30,563 --> 01:04:32,314
Odor-Eaters.

1518
01:04:33,316 --> 01:04:35,168
[WOMAN SCREAMS]

1519
01:04:35,268 --> 01:04:37,320
The most horrible thing's
just happened!

1520
01:04:37,420 --> 01:04:39,722
It's on TV!

1521
01:04:39,822 --> 01:04:41,307
Come on!

1522
01:04:41,407 --> 01:04:45,311
<i>The enormously popular group
the Radio Werewolf</i>

1523
01:04:45,411 --> 01:04:49,399
<i>was apparently taking joy rides
in a stolen 'Baker.</i>

1524
01:04:49,499 --> 01:04:52,001
<i>We're going to Christie Doll
on the scene.</i>

1525
01:04:52,101 --> 01:04:54,938
<i>They came from a white
Transylvania ghetto,</i>

1526
01:04:55,038 --> 01:04:57,040
<i>and they died on this
Beverly Hills boulevard</i>

1527
01:04:57,140 --> 01:04:58,191
<i>far from home.</i>

1528
01:04:58,291 --> 01:05:00,676
<i>The irony of this
would not have been lost</i>

1529
01:05:00,776 --> 01:05:03,629
<i>on these acerbic youths
whose name, Radio Werewolf,</i>

1530
01:05:03,729 --> 01:05:06,032
<i>summed up an era
in popular music.</i>

1531
01:05:06,132 --> 01:05:09,135
<i>Smothered by a breast-shaped
balloon meant to protect them,</i>

1532
01:05:09,235 --> 01:05:11,704
<i>they died quickly
but prematurely.</i>

1533
01:05:11,804 --> 01:05:12,805
<i>Let's talk to a fan.</i>

1534
01:05:12,905 --> 01:05:14,207
WOMAN:
<i>They're not dead.</i>

1535
01:05:14,307 --> 01:05:15,808
<i>They've pulled
this shit before.</i>

1536
01:05:15,908 --> 01:05:19,311
<i>Bernie Berkowitz, their manager
for the last two months.</i>

1537
01:05:19,411 --> 01:05:22,298
<i>They're not dead!
You can't kill Radio Werewolf!</i>

1538
01:05:22,398 --> 01:05:24,400
<i>These are wonderful kids,
you know.</i>

1539
01:05:24,500 --> 01:05:25,802
<i>A little wild, sure,</i>

1540
01:05:25,902 --> 01:05:27,904
<i>but, I mean, who can
hold that against them?</i>

1541
01:05:28,004 --> 01:05:30,306
<i>They had more music
in their rotten teeth</i>

1542
01:05:30,406 --> 01:05:32,908
<i>than most musicians have
in their whole heads.</i>

1543
01:05:33,008 --> 01:05:35,411
You talk about them
as if they're still alive.

1544
01:05:35,511 --> 01:05:37,230
Uh, no comment.

1545
01:05:37,330 --> 01:05:39,832
<i>This is Christie Doll.</i>
<i>Back to you, Nancy--</i>

1546
01:05:39,932 --> 01:05:41,651
[SWITCHES OFF TV]

1547
01:05:41,751 --> 01:05:44,754
First Mouse is squashed,
then we're all expelled,

1548
01:05:44,854 --> 01:05:47,657
and now this:
Radio Werewolf, dead.

1549
01:05:47,757 --> 01:05:49,158
Hey! Come on,
everybody.

1550
01:05:49,258 --> 01:05:51,160
Look, we have to get
our acts together.

1551
01:05:51,260 --> 01:05:52,427
Now, what are we gonna do?

1552
01:05:52,527 --> 01:05:53,979
PURCELL:
I know what to do.

1553
01:05:54,079 --> 01:05:56,983
I've got a plan,
but I need your help.

1554
01:05:57,083 --> 01:05:58,384
And if it works,

1555
01:05:58,484 --> 01:06:01,436
I can pretty much guarantee
that all of you will graduate.

1556
01:06:01,536 --> 01:06:03,439
[♪]

1557
01:06:08,411 --> 01:06:10,913
Looks like she's been through
the wringer.

1558
01:06:11,013 --> 01:06:12,915
Let's just say
she's been around.

1559
01:06:13,015 --> 01:06:14,917
Are you sure
this is legal?

1560
01:06:15,017 --> 01:06:17,820
All's fair
in love and war.

1561
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:19,922
What do you say,
Dickson?

1562
01:06:20,022 --> 01:06:22,424
Do you think
you can do it?

1563
01:06:22,524 --> 01:06:26,929
I'll need epoxy,
some foam rubber, a merkin

1564
01:06:27,029 --> 01:06:29,431
and a stiff drink.

1565
01:06:32,268 --> 01:06:33,552
[HORN HONKING]

1566
01:06:44,480 --> 01:06:46,382
Can I help you?

1567
01:06:46,482 --> 01:06:49,201
Yes, I'd like to see something
in a vacuum cleaner.

1568
01:06:49,301 --> 01:06:53,072
Is there any particular make
or model you're interested in?

1569
01:06:53,172 --> 01:06:57,076
I want something strong that
will really suck up the dirt.

1570
01:06:57,176 --> 01:06:59,962
Oh, well, if you want
something industrial,

1571
01:07:00,062 --> 01:07:01,964
we've got
this little item.

1572
01:07:02,064 --> 01:07:03,983
Uh-huh.

1573
01:07:04,083 --> 01:07:06,285
[TYPEWRITER CLACKS]

1574
01:07:06,385 --> 01:07:08,887
Are there two Ls
in "unconditionally"?

1575
01:07:08,987 --> 01:07:10,740
Yes.

1576
01:07:10,840 --> 01:07:14,593
And don't forget
"irrevocably."

1577
01:07:14,693 --> 01:07:16,095
[♪]

1578
01:07:24,103 --> 01:07:25,104
[SMOOCH]

1579
01:07:30,109 --> 01:07:33,112
[THUNDER RUMBLING]

1580
01:07:41,788 --> 01:07:43,756
You can't know how I've longed
for this moment.

1581
01:07:43,856 --> 01:07:45,257
[THUNDER RUMBLING]

1582
01:07:45,357 --> 01:07:46,159
Mary?

1583
01:07:46,259 --> 01:07:48,327
Oh, we had
a little something,

1584
01:07:48,427 --> 01:07:49,928
but warm-bodied women like Mary

1585
01:07:50,028 --> 01:07:53,098
don't really understand
the needs of a man like me.

1586
01:07:53,198 --> 01:07:56,602
Of course I'll be gentle.

1587
01:08:02,558 --> 01:08:04,059
Oh!

1588
01:08:05,061 --> 01:08:07,964
What is that delightful scent?

1589
01:08:08,064 --> 01:08:10,566
Is it Tiger of the Valley?

1590
01:08:10,666 --> 01:08:13,569
Ah! No, darling, don't move.

1591
01:08:13,669 --> 01:08:16,973
I can't wait any longer.

1592
01:08:17,073 --> 01:08:19,075
[THUNDER CRASHING]

1593
01:08:19,175 --> 01:08:21,477
[SIGHS]

1594
01:08:21,577 --> 01:08:23,078
[VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRS]

1595
01:08:23,178 --> 01:08:24,797
Oh! Oooh!

1596
01:08:24,897 --> 01:08:28,151
[ALL YELL]

1597
01:08:28,251 --> 01:08:29,869
You disgusting pervert!

1598
01:08:29,969 --> 01:08:31,537
Somebody get me
out of this thing!

1599
01:08:31,637 --> 01:08:33,138
Not till you sign this,
Casanova.

1600
01:08:33,238 --> 01:08:34,757
You better sign it,
Dr. Truscott,

1601
01:08:34,857 --> 01:08:36,258
or you'll be
singing soprano.

1602
01:08:36,358 --> 01:08:37,160
What is it?

1603
01:08:37,260 --> 01:08:39,262
Well, it's a statement
declaring

1604
01:08:39,362 --> 01:08:41,764
that all students
in the current class

1605
01:08:41,864 --> 01:08:44,167
graduate with
full honors.

1606
01:08:44,267 --> 01:08:46,252
And transferring
the ownership

1607
01:08:46,352 --> 01:08:48,987
of the Grimm Mortuary
and Academy to me

1608
01:08:49,087 --> 01:08:51,057
and my brother.

1609
01:08:51,157 --> 01:08:52,775
Are you behind this, Mary?

1610
01:08:52,875 --> 01:08:54,276
Every inch of the way.

1611
01:08:54,376 --> 01:08:57,730
It looks like you'll be having
a skid-row honeymoon

1612
01:08:57,830 --> 01:08:59,182
with Cathy
the cadaver.

1613
01:08:59,282 --> 01:09:01,184
Don't you dare
refer to her that way.

1614
01:09:01,284 --> 01:09:03,286
As for your paper, you...
[WHIRRING INTENSIFIES]

1615
01:09:03,386 --> 01:09:04,170
...can forget it.

1616
01:09:04,270 --> 01:09:05,588
I'm not signing anything.

1617
01:09:05,688 --> 01:09:08,591
Should I turn it up
from wood floors and linoleum

1618
01:09:08,691 --> 01:09:10,827
to shag and deep pile?

1619
01:09:10,927 --> 01:09:11,828
DON:
Let her rip!

1620
01:09:11,928 --> 01:09:13,830
[WHIRRING INTENSIFIES]
Ooooh! Whoo!

1621
01:09:13,930 --> 01:09:16,182
On second thought,
if anybody has a pen...

1622
01:09:18,184 --> 01:09:20,186
Would you like
to peruse it first?

1623
01:09:20,286 --> 01:09:21,587
Very funny.

1624
01:09:21,687 --> 01:09:23,589
Stop!
Turn this thing off!

1625
01:09:23,689 --> 01:09:24,856
Kill it, Abbott.

1626
01:09:29,729 --> 01:09:31,130
[GROANS]
[SQUELCH]

1627
01:09:31,230 --> 01:09:33,132
Somebody get me my robe.

1628
01:09:33,232 --> 01:09:34,733
JAMES: Why, certainly.
Oh!

1629
01:09:34,833 --> 01:09:35,735
[GROUP SNICKERS]

1630
01:09:35,835 --> 01:09:37,386
You people are sick!

1631
01:09:37,486 --> 01:09:39,738
Coming from you,
that's a compliment.

1632
01:09:39,838 --> 01:09:40,640
[SCOFFS]

1633
01:09:40,740 --> 01:09:42,141
I suppose you think
you're very smart,

1634
01:09:42,241 --> 01:09:43,242
strong-arming me this way.

1635
01:09:43,342 --> 01:09:45,994
Well, I'm happy to say
the joke's on you.

1636
01:09:46,094 --> 01:09:47,146
What do you mean?

1637
01:09:47,246 --> 01:09:49,816
This mortuary is on
the brink of bankruptcy.

1638
01:09:49,916 --> 01:09:51,868
When the creditors
foreclose next week,

1639
01:09:51,968 --> 01:09:53,469
you fellas
are gonna find yourself

1640
01:09:53,569 --> 01:09:56,305
the proud owner of
half a million dollars of debt.

1641
01:09:56,405 --> 01:09:57,323
No way.

1642
01:09:57,423 --> 01:09:59,992
I'm afraid he might
be telling the truth.

1643
01:10:00,092 --> 01:10:01,893
I'm going to take
a shower now.

1644
01:10:01,993 --> 01:10:03,246
And while I do,

1645
01:10:03,346 --> 01:10:05,248
I would appreciate it
very much

1646
01:10:05,348 --> 01:10:07,350
if someone would remove
that contraption

1647
01:10:07,450 --> 01:10:08,851
from my fiancée.

1648
01:10:08,951 --> 01:10:10,352
[CLEARS THROAT]

1649
01:10:10,452 --> 01:10:11,854
Good night.

1650
01:10:16,242 --> 01:10:19,194
MAN: If you people can't
make a substantial payment

1651
01:10:19,294 --> 01:10:21,063
within the next 48 hours,

1652
01:10:21,163 --> 01:10:23,165
the bank will be forced
to take over the mortuary

1653
01:10:23,265 --> 01:10:25,067
and sell it at auction.

1654
01:10:25,167 --> 01:10:27,169
Am I making myself clear?

1655
01:10:28,671 --> 01:10:31,674
Truscott's a real douchebag.

1656
01:10:33,175 --> 01:10:35,177
This isn't fair.
These aren't our debts.

1657
01:10:35,277 --> 01:10:39,014
These are the debts of the old
proprietor, Paul Truscott!

1658
01:10:41,600 --> 01:10:43,885
Mr. Harding, can't we have
a little more time?

1659
01:10:43,985 --> 01:10:47,089
This mortuary has had
more than enough time.

1660
01:10:47,189 --> 01:10:48,690
The bank has run out
of patience.

1661
01:10:48,790 --> 01:10:50,176
Excuse me for interrupting.

1662
01:10:50,276 --> 01:10:52,278
I just wanted to say goodbye
to the new owners.

1663
01:10:52,378 --> 01:10:53,779
Linda and I
are off to St. Thomas.

1664
01:10:53,879 --> 01:10:55,681
We'll send you a postcard.

1665
01:10:55,781 --> 01:10:57,016
Paul, she's perfect
for you.

1666
01:10:57,116 --> 01:10:58,117
But you know she'll last longer

1667
01:10:58,217 --> 01:11:00,770
if you keep her out of the sun.

1668
01:11:00,870 --> 01:11:04,790
Goodbye, everybody. You're in
good hands with Mr. Harding.

1669
01:11:04,890 --> 01:11:06,825
Charming man.

1670
01:11:09,295 --> 01:11:12,298
[SMOOCHES]
<i>Au revoir!</i>

1671
01:11:18,554 --> 01:11:20,957
What could we sell that could
generate that kind of money?

1672
01:11:21,057 --> 01:11:22,742
You could start
with some of the inventory,

1673
01:11:22,842 --> 01:11:24,059
the heavier pieces of equipment.

1674
01:11:24,159 --> 01:11:27,012
No, no. Then we couldn't
function as a mortuary.

1675
01:11:27,112 --> 01:11:29,648
There's got to be
a way out of this.

1676
01:11:30,766 --> 01:11:31,767
Excuse me,
I'm looking for

1677
01:11:31,867 --> 01:11:33,401
the head of the mortuary.

1678
01:11:33,501 --> 01:11:34,921
BOTH: That's me.

1679
01:11:35,021 --> 01:11:38,557
Hi, I'm Bernard Berkowitz,
manager of Radio Werewolf,

1680
01:11:38,657 --> 01:11:40,575
and I'd like to give my boys
the most fabulous funeral

1681
01:11:40,675 --> 01:11:41,978
money can buy.

1682
01:11:42,078 --> 01:11:45,081
Oh! How were you expecting to
pay for this fabulous funeral?

1683
01:11:45,181 --> 01:11:46,582
Well, frankly,
I'm broke.

1684
01:11:46,682 --> 01:11:48,067
Okay.

1685
01:11:48,167 --> 01:11:49,652
Welcome to the club.

1686
01:11:49,752 --> 01:11:53,990
But I thought possibly you guys
were Radio Werewolf fans.

1687
01:11:54,090 --> 01:11:56,092
Wait a minute, Mr. Berkowitz.
You said Radio Werewolf?

1688
01:11:56,192 --> 01:11:57,994
My boys,
God bless them.

1689
01:11:58,094 --> 01:11:59,595
Well, they're a musical group,
aren't they?

1690
01:11:59,695 --> 01:12:00,997
They were supposed to play

1691
01:12:01,097 --> 01:12:02,965
at a party my son
was invited to tomorrow.

1692
01:12:03,065 --> 01:12:04,967
The Biallystock bar mitzvah.

1693
01:12:05,067 --> 01:12:08,854
The greatest cash-drop gig
I ever negotiated in my life.

1694
01:12:08,954 --> 01:12:11,791
One million dollars
for two sets.

1695
01:12:11,891 --> 01:12:12,792
A million dollars?

1696
01:12:12,892 --> 01:12:13,793
SAM: Are you saying

1697
01:12:13,893 --> 01:12:15,261
that these guys
are getting paid

1698
01:12:15,361 --> 01:12:17,363
a million dollars
for playing a private party?

1699
01:12:17,463 --> 01:12:18,264
That's right.

1700
01:12:18,364 --> 01:12:20,532
Said he'd do
anything for that kid of his,

1701
01:12:20,632 --> 01:12:21,934
including hiring a band

1702
01:12:22,034 --> 01:12:23,985
to remind him
of his days in detox.

1703
01:12:24,085 --> 01:12:25,454
And now they're dead?

1704
01:12:25,554 --> 01:12:27,473
Oh, that is criminal.

1705
01:12:27,573 --> 01:12:30,075
You know, if those little shits
had lived two more days,

1706
01:12:30,175 --> 01:12:31,077
we'd all be rich.

1707
01:12:31,177 --> 01:12:32,979
Has anyone seen
Dickson anywhere?

1708
01:12:33,079 --> 01:12:35,081
I still can't get
Mouse's tail to work,

1709
01:12:35,181 --> 01:12:36,499
and it's driving me crazy.

1710
01:12:36,599 --> 01:12:37,867
Dickson!

1711
01:12:37,967 --> 01:12:39,819
Dickson.
Dickson.

1712
01:12:39,919 --> 01:12:40,920
He's probably in the workroom.

1713
01:12:41,020 --> 01:12:42,838
Tell him we want to
talk to him now.

1714
01:12:42,938 --> 01:12:45,557
Mr. Berkowitz,
were the Radio Werewolf guys

1715
01:12:45,657 --> 01:12:47,560
badly injured
in the accident?

1716
01:12:47,660 --> 01:12:49,061
You know, maimed?

1717
01:12:49,161 --> 01:12:50,963
Hardly a mark on 'em.

1718
01:12:51,063 --> 01:12:54,066
They were killed
by some stupid safety bag.

1719
01:12:54,166 --> 01:12:58,471
Bernie, now,
if it were possible--

1720
01:12:58,571 --> 01:12:59,972
Don't ask me how.

1721
01:13:00,072 --> 01:13:03,976
--to arrange them to play
tomorrow night for one set only

1722
01:13:04,076 --> 01:13:05,077
here at the mortuary,

1723
01:13:05,177 --> 01:13:07,980
can you still
get that million?

1724
01:13:08,080 --> 01:13:09,081
Are you out
of your mind?

1725
01:13:09,181 --> 01:13:11,400
Are you out of your mind?

1726
01:13:11,500 --> 01:13:13,752
I know it's a big job,
and you may not be up to it.

1727
01:13:13,852 --> 01:13:15,253
We need it
by tomorrow night.

1728
01:13:15,353 --> 01:13:16,338
Oh, please, Dickson,

1729
01:13:16,438 --> 01:13:17,339
you've got to do it!

1730
01:13:17,439 --> 01:13:18,673
No--
Dickson.

1731
01:13:18,773 --> 01:13:20,526
Just stop it!

1732
01:13:20,626 --> 01:13:22,127
SAM:
Dickson. Dickson!

1733
01:13:22,227 --> 01:13:23,345
DON:
No!

1734
01:13:24,346 --> 01:13:26,348
If you do it,
you'll save the mortuary.

1735
01:13:26,448 --> 01:13:27,249
DON:
No!

1736
01:13:27,349 --> 01:13:28,751
You'll be a hero!
DON: No!

1737
01:13:28,851 --> 01:13:30,352
You'll have a job
with us for life.

1738
01:13:30,452 --> 01:13:31,253
DON:
No!

1739
01:13:31,353 --> 01:13:32,354
We'll get you a girl.

1740
01:13:33,856 --> 01:13:35,858
DON:
No.

1741
01:13:36,859 --> 01:13:40,863
You'll make a lot of kids
very happy.

1742
01:13:47,203 --> 01:13:49,705
Okay, I'll do it.

1743
01:13:49,805 --> 01:13:54,226
But I ain't making
any promises.

1744
01:13:54,326 --> 01:13:57,730
<i>♪ Hey, baby
Won't you take a chance? ♪</i>

1745
01:13:57,830 --> 01:14:00,332
<i>♪ Say that you'll let me
Have this dance ♪</i>

1746
01:14:00,432 --> 01:14:02,334
<i>♪ Let's dance ♪</i>

1747
01:14:03,335 --> 01:14:06,038
<i>♪ Let's dance ♪</i>

1748
01:14:06,138 --> 01:14:09,474
<i>♪ We'll do the shake, doo-wop
Let's do the samba too ♪</i>

1749
01:14:09,574 --> 01:14:12,795
<i>♪ Any ol' dance
That you wanna do ♪</i>

1750
01:14:12,895 --> 01:14:14,396
<i>♪ But let's dance ♪</i>

1751
01:14:16,015 --> 01:14:19,135
<i>♪ Hey, baby
Yeah, you thrill me so ♪</i>

1752
01:14:19,235 --> 01:14:21,737
<i>♪ Hold me tight
Don't you let me go ♪</i>

1753
01:14:21,837 --> 01:14:23,739
<i>♪ Let's dance ♪</i>

1754
01:14:24,740 --> 01:14:27,143
<i>♪ Let's dance ♪</i>

1755
01:14:27,243 --> 01:14:28,744
<i>♪ We'll do the twist
The stomp ♪</i>

1756
01:14:28,844 --> 01:14:31,147
This is bitchen!

1757
01:14:31,247 --> 01:14:33,749
<i>♪ Any ol' dance
That you wanna do ♪</i>

1758
01:14:33,849 --> 01:14:35,250
<i>Shalom,</i> Mr. Berkowitz.

1759
01:14:35,350 --> 01:14:36,152
Hiya.

1760
01:14:36,252 --> 01:14:38,988
I've got to hand it
to you, Berkowitz.

1761
01:14:39,088 --> 01:14:41,090
Ernie Livkin is sitting at home,
eating his heart out.

1762
01:14:41,190 --> 01:14:43,625
His son didn't have anything
half this spectacular

1763
01:14:43,725 --> 01:14:44,994
for his bar mitzvah.

1764
01:14:45,094 --> 01:14:47,696
That's was a great hoax about
the band dying, Mr. Berkowitz.

1765
01:14:47,796 --> 01:14:49,198
Yeah, it got us
a lot of publicity.

1766
01:14:49,298 --> 01:14:50,799
That's the name
of the game, you know.

1767
01:14:50,899 --> 01:14:53,852
And a nice touch, having
the party in the mortuary.

1768
01:14:53,952 --> 01:14:54,753
Yeah. Yeah.

1769
01:14:54,853 --> 01:14:57,605
Well, come on.
Let's go in and check it out.

1770
01:14:57,705 --> 01:15:00,876
<i>♪ Hey, baby
If you're all alone ♪</i>

1771
01:15:00,976 --> 01:15:02,978
<i>♪ Baby, you could let me
Walk you home ♪</i>

1772
01:15:03,078 --> 01:15:04,446
<i>♪ Let's dance ♪</i>

1773
01:15:05,948 --> 01:15:08,801
<i>♪ Let's dance ♪</i>

1774
01:15:08,901 --> 01:15:12,371
<i>♪ We'll do the shake, doo-wop
Let's do the samba too ♪</i>

1775
01:15:12,471 --> 01:15:14,873
<i>♪ Any ol' thing
That you wanna do ♪</i>

1776
01:15:14,973 --> 01:15:17,776
Honey, please.

1777
01:15:17,876 --> 01:15:18,877
I couldn't help
but notice,

1778
01:15:18,977 --> 01:15:21,280
but you got some
big-ass motherfuckin' titties,

1779
01:15:21,380 --> 01:15:23,382
and I was just wondering
if a phone number were--

1780
01:15:23,482 --> 01:15:24,783
Look here.

1781
01:15:24,883 --> 01:15:26,384
I don't give
my telephone number

1782
01:15:26,484 --> 01:15:27,286
to no titty freak.

1783
01:15:27,386 --> 01:15:28,887
A titty freak?
I ain't no titty freak!

1784
01:15:28,987 --> 01:15:30,789
I'm a young, black,
rising entrepreneur,

1785
01:15:30,889 --> 01:15:32,791
and I just so happen to own
part of this mortuary.

1786
01:15:32,891 --> 01:15:34,392
What you got to say?
[LAUGHS POLITELY]

1787
01:15:34,492 --> 01:15:37,729
555-1860.

1788
01:15:38,514 --> 01:15:39,848
LARRY:
You are the most

1789
01:15:39,948 --> 01:15:42,751
beautiful girl I am
ever dancing with.

1790
01:15:42,851 --> 01:15:44,519
I thought you said
you were blind.

1791
01:15:44,619 --> 01:15:48,340
No, I am just trying
to learn English.

1792
01:15:48,440 --> 01:15:51,010
<i>♪ Hey, baby
Got that swingin' right ♪</i>

1793
01:15:51,110 --> 01:15:53,078
<i>♪ Yes, I know
That this is the night ♪</i>

1794
01:15:53,178 --> 01:15:54,579
<i>♪ Let's dance ♪</i>

1795
01:15:55,698 --> 01:15:57,199
<i>♪ Let's dance ♪</i>

1796
01:15:59,201 --> 01:16:01,670
<i>♪ Because the twist is on... ♪</i>

1797
01:16:01,770 --> 01:16:04,172
Mary, can I ask
you something?

1798
01:16:04,272 --> 01:16:06,592
Sure, Sam. What is it?

1799
01:16:06,692 --> 01:16:07,826
Well,

1800
01:16:07,926 --> 01:16:12,164
when we, uh,
you know, fucked,

1801
01:16:12,264 --> 01:16:16,268
did you do it just to make
Dr. Truscott jealous?

1802
01:16:16,368 --> 01:16:17,586
Yes.

1803
01:16:17,686 --> 01:16:20,772
But, Sam, I fixed your car
for you because I liked you.

1804
01:16:20,872 --> 01:16:23,776
And I didn't think of
Dr. Truscott when we, uh...

1805
01:16:23,876 --> 01:16:24,777
You know.

1806
01:16:24,877 --> 01:16:26,929
I know.

1807
01:16:27,029 --> 01:16:30,466
[BANGING and CRASHING]

1808
01:16:30,566 --> 01:16:32,635
Hold that kiss.

1809
01:16:32,735 --> 01:16:35,120
[ELECTRICITY WHIZZING]

1810
01:16:36,455 --> 01:16:38,524
Dickson,
what's going on?

1811
01:16:38,624 --> 01:16:41,493
I'm having a hard time
keeping them on their feet.

1812
01:16:41,593 --> 01:16:42,361
[POP]

1813
01:16:42,461 --> 01:16:44,146
I don't care if
they're kneeling.

1814
01:16:44,246 --> 01:16:45,747
The crowd on the other
side of that curtain

1815
01:16:45,847 --> 01:16:46,949
represents our future.

1816
01:16:47,049 --> 01:16:47,999
Standing or kneeling,

1817
01:16:48,099 --> 01:16:49,885
they've gotta be ready
in 15 minutes.

1818
01:16:49,985 --> 01:16:52,387
Don't worry,
they'll play fine.

1819
01:16:54,173 --> 01:16:55,074
[POP]

1820
01:16:55,174 --> 01:16:56,475
Oh, Dickson!

1821
01:16:56,575 --> 01:16:58,744
[SONG ENDS]

1822
01:16:58,844 --> 01:17:01,346
Okay, quiet, everybody.
Quiet, please.

1823
01:17:01,446 --> 01:17:04,066
I have an announcement to make.

1824
01:17:04,166 --> 01:17:05,634
[PEOPLE SHUSHING]

1825
01:17:05,734 --> 01:17:07,902
Radio Werewolf is splitting up.

1826
01:17:08,002 --> 01:17:09,571
CROWD:
Oh, no.

1827
01:17:11,440 --> 01:17:14,025
This will be their
last historic performance.

1828
01:17:15,577 --> 01:17:19,414
And we know it's gonna be
a concert to remember.

1829
01:17:21,083 --> 01:17:23,585
This is a boss party
you threw for your boy Barney.

1830
01:17:23,685 --> 01:17:24,987
Benny.

1831
01:17:25,087 --> 01:17:27,089
So, what's your
racket, anyway?

1832
01:17:27,189 --> 01:17:29,992
I buy, I sell.
What about you?

1833
01:17:30,092 --> 01:17:32,094
On parole, I'm doing
10 years at Vacaville

1834
01:17:32,194 --> 01:17:34,596
for a triple homicide
and some burglary.

1835
01:17:34,696 --> 01:17:36,598
I could use
a man like you.

1836
01:17:36,698 --> 01:17:38,600
Give me a call
tomorrow.

1837
01:17:38,700 --> 01:17:41,003
We'll have lunch.
Great.

1838
01:17:41,103 --> 01:17:44,506
Oh, sorry, man, the wine's
gotten me a little loaded.

1839
01:17:44,606 --> 01:17:47,108
It's okay, Abbott.
Don't worry about it.

1840
01:17:51,113 --> 01:17:54,116
BERNIE: Ladies and gentlemen,
put your hands together.

1841
01:17:54,216 --> 01:17:55,517
[CROWD CLAPPING]

1842
01:17:55,617 --> 01:17:56,951
You asked for it,

1843
01:17:57,051 --> 01:17:58,804
you paid for 'em.

1844
01:17:58,904 --> 01:18:00,723
And here they are,

1845
01:18:00,823 --> 01:18:01,907
the fabulous

1846
01:18:02,007 --> 01:18:03,309
Radio Werewolf!

1847
01:18:03,409 --> 01:18:05,461
[ORGAN PLAYING SPOOKY MELODY]

1848
01:18:05,561 --> 01:18:09,131
[CHEERING]

1849
01:18:12,668 --> 01:18:15,303
[WILD ROCK SONG PLAYING]

1850
01:18:18,807 --> 01:18:21,994
♪ Driving down
A desolate highway ♪

1851
01:18:22,094 --> 01:18:25,214
♪ Headlights burning red
Like a demon's eyes ♪

1852
01:18:25,314 --> 01:18:28,183
♪ There's a shadow
In your rearview mirror ♪

1853
01:18:28,283 --> 01:18:32,137
I've never heard
such an ugly noise.

1854
01:18:32,237 --> 01:18:34,640
Dad, this is
the happiest day of my life.

1855
01:18:34,740 --> 01:18:36,742
Money can buy
happiness, can't it?

1856
01:18:36,842 --> 01:18:38,243
And don't you forget it.

1857
01:18:38,343 --> 01:18:40,245
Hey, where's my wallet.

1858
01:18:40,345 --> 01:18:41,563
My wallet!

1859
01:18:41,663 --> 01:18:44,082
♪ Burning rubber on Route 915 ♪

1860
01:18:44,182 --> 01:18:47,353
♪ Turn on the ignition ♪

1861
01:18:47,453 --> 01:18:50,356
♪ With my skeleton key ♪

1862
01:18:50,456 --> 01:18:52,358
♪ Hear my 390
Throttle it, man ♪

1863
01:18:52,458 --> 01:18:54,460
♪ And she screeches out
At the cemetery ♪

1864
01:18:54,560 --> 01:18:56,862
Valerie,
whatever happens,

1865
01:18:56,962 --> 01:18:59,464
meet me on the roof
in a few minutes, okay?

1866
01:18:59,564 --> 01:19:02,551
I'll be there.

1867
01:19:08,607 --> 01:19:11,109
♪ She's not
An inanimate object ♪

1868
01:19:11,209 --> 01:19:14,380
♪ Why can't these fools see? ♪

1869
01:19:14,480 --> 01:19:17,683
♪ Fifty thousand miles
Of funerals ♪

1870
01:19:17,783 --> 01:19:21,570
♪ Have chartered this hearse
For eternity ♪

1871
01:19:21,670 --> 01:19:23,472
Fags.

1872
01:19:23,572 --> 01:19:24,906
♪ 'Cause I'm in love with... ♪

1873
01:19:25,006 --> 01:19:26,375
[♪]

1874
01:19:29,878 --> 01:19:31,379
I love you.

1875
01:19:32,381 --> 01:19:34,383
I love you too.

1876
01:19:36,885 --> 01:19:38,386
Shall we try a kiss?

1877
01:19:38,486 --> 01:19:41,290
Anything might happen.

1878
01:19:41,390 --> 01:19:43,308
What's life
without risk?

1879
01:19:43,408 --> 01:19:45,343
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING]

1880
01:19:51,517 --> 01:19:56,054
♪ So if you're driving
Down a desolate highway ♪

1881
01:19:56,154 --> 01:19:58,773
♪ Headlights burning red
Like a demon's eyes ♪

1882
01:19:58,873 --> 01:20:01,827
♪ You'll see a shadow
In your rearview mirror ♪

1883
01:20:01,927 --> 01:20:04,680
♪ Well, have no fear
It's just my baby and I ♪

1884
01:20:04,780 --> 01:20:07,816
♪ From her super-sized trunk
To her chrome-lined fins ♪

1885
01:20:07,916 --> 01:20:10,952
♪ Her glass packs roar 'cause
She's blowing in the wind ♪

1886
01:20:11,052 --> 01:20:13,088
♪ She's a hitchhiker's
Nightmare ♪

1887
01:20:13,188 --> 01:20:15,924
♪ A mortician's dream ♪

1888
01:20:17,376 --> 01:20:20,512
♪ I love my baby
But she knows who comes first ♪

1889
01:20:20,612 --> 01:20:23,115
♪ 'Cause I'm in love
With my 1960 ♪

1890
01:20:23,215 --> 01:20:24,766
♪ Cadillac hearse ♪

1891
01:20:30,055 --> 01:20:31,389
[DISTORTED]
♪ 1960... ♪

1892
01:20:36,945 --> 01:20:40,148
[ALL CHEERING]

1893
01:20:42,651 --> 01:20:43,952
[EXPLOSION]

1894
01:20:49,291 --> 01:20:52,494
[♪]

1895
01:21:13,065 --> 01:21:16,068
[HORN BELLOWS]

1896
01:21:21,573 --> 01:21:24,576
[HORN BELLOWS]

1897
01:21:26,578 --> 01:21:29,914
[♪]

1898
01:21:35,337 --> 01:21:37,372
[FLY BUZZING]

1899
01:21:41,293 --> 01:21:42,294
Mr. Truscott.

1900
01:21:42,394 --> 01:21:43,795
Captain.

1901
01:21:43,895 --> 01:21:45,197
I, um...

1902
01:21:45,297 --> 01:21:47,766
I can't help but notice
that your wife hasn't moved

1903
01:21:47,866 --> 01:21:48,667
for several hours.

1904
01:21:48,767 --> 01:21:50,718
That's one of the things
I love about her.

1905
01:21:50,818 --> 01:21:52,871
She's so quiet
and self-contained.

1906
01:21:52,971 --> 01:21:54,889
But she hasn't
talked to anyone

1907
01:21:54,989 --> 01:21:57,009
since the cruise began.

1908
01:21:57,109 --> 01:21:58,610
Intelligent women, like my wife,

1909
01:21:58,710 --> 01:22:01,529
usually don't speak unless
they have something to say.

1910
01:22:01,629 --> 01:22:03,031
Well, enjoy the cruise.

1911
01:22:03,131 --> 01:22:04,182
Thank you.

1912
01:22:04,282 --> 01:22:06,284
Mrs. Truscott,
is there anything I can do

1913
01:22:06,384 --> 01:22:07,818
to make you more comfortable?

1914
01:22:07,918 --> 01:22:09,221
[FLY BUZZING]

1915
01:22:09,321 --> 01:22:10,822
Mrs. Truscott?

1916
01:22:10,922 --> 01:22:13,157
Oh, my God.

1917
01:22:16,128 --> 01:22:17,078
She's dead!

1918
01:22:17,178 --> 01:22:20,082
Well, let's face it, captain.

1919
01:22:20,182 --> 01:22:22,851
Nobody's perfect.

1920
01:22:22,951 --> 01:22:25,856
[RAY LEMA'S
"MARAVOT (IYOLELA)" PLAYING]

1921
01:22:32,363 --> 01:22:35,366
[MAN SINGING JUBILANTLY
IN AFRICAN DIALECT]